ts about 2:30am. I think I am experianceing my first mania with my eyes open. I am way freaked out. I went from being horribly irritable to restless. I started crying (no reason) it hurt in my chest and the harder I cried the less it hurt. My boyfriend just kinda held me. My legs hurt cause I worked in the yard all day so he massaged them to relax me but I still couldn't sleep, but I'm tierd. Earlier we went to dinner, and I got so upset cause these guys were staring at me and talking in spanish. I felt like a complete freak. I gained so much weight from quitting smoking (just woke upa nd stopped go figure) and meds in the past three or four years that I feel disgusting. I bet alot of people get religous at this point, lol. This just flat freaking sucks ya all. One deep breath...........two, three...........mmmmmmmmmmm. Tomorrow is another day!!!! ts about 2:30am. I think I am experianceing my first mania with my eyes open. I am way freaked out. I went from being horribly irritable to restless. I started crying (no reason) it hurt in my chest and the harder I cried the less it hurt. My boyfriend just kinda held me. My legs hurt cause I worked in the yard all day so he massaged them to relax me but I still couldn't sleep, but I'm tierd. Earlier we went to dinner, and I got so upset cause these guys were staring at me and talking in spanish. I felt like a complete freak. I gained so much weight from quitting smoking (just woke upa nd stopped go figure) and meds in the past three or four years that I feel disgusting. I bet alot of people get religous at this point, lol. This just flat freaking sucks ya all. One deep breath...........two, three...........mmmmmmmmmmm. Tomorrow is another day!!!!I'm going to burn some Barbra Streisand and sing along. I'm so wierd I'm cool
Pepper
Guess I'm kinda hurt and disappointed. I wrote this post in hopes that I would get feed back. 14 people viewed and and no one had anything to say. Not so much advice as encouragment. Just feeling discouraged.
Pepper
all i can say is that when i hear about experiences like the one that you described in your post, i feel for you. it sounds so intense and overwhelming. i guess having read it, i was glad for you that you had your boyfriend there to hold you, and i hope it helped.
If you are having mania, why aren't you in touch with your pdoc??????? Your boyfriend isn't going to be able to help you other than moral support, you need meds. If you're already on them, what are you taking? If you're not, why?
Didn't know I was supposed to bother my pdoc with this, guess I wish I knew that. I think he's on vacation anyway. I figured I'd ride it out and just keep open and keep talking to people.
But all is well. I woke up this AM and other than useual stuff I feel better than I have in days. Maybe the meds are working. I also upped to 75mg of Topamax from 50. Going to take time for me to get caught on sleep. I joined a support group and am still going to the classes. I believe in myself and that I have what it takes to not nessecarly beat this thing but..........not let it ruin my life anymore.
Pepper
I'm very glad you're feeling better! Remember this: anytime you are having an episode, whether manic, hypomanic or depression, call your doc at the first sign! It's much easier to control if you do it asap; otherwise, it's very hard. If your pdoc makes you feel like you're a bother, get another one. If you can't talk to him without feeling bad, you won't get the treatment you need that works. Just because you're taking meds doesn't necessarily mean they are the right ones for you; they are as individual as people! So if you're having swings to that degree, you need a tweak or something else added. Most of us take several; I take 4, it's no big deal.
I'm glad you're going to get some sleep; lack of sleep only makes everything worse! I HATE THAT!
Thanks for getting back! 
Shannon
I am on Medi Cal, goverment insurance so unfortunealty I cannont be picky. I have been through 4 pdocs in one year. I don't think they have any more in that department. I called to try and get better care, but unfortuneatly I have to settle for a nurse practitioner and an intern as a therepist and I know I have way outgrown this. I have to reminder her of my kids name weekly. she never remembers much. I miss my last one, I liked her.
Oh, in that case, I guess you have to stay. Well, it's nice to like your pdoc, but what really matters is that you're stable. Still, hound your doc if you have to if you are still having swings, (you are). When did you up your Topomax? Did you have bad side effects on lithium? Have you tried depakote? Those two work much better than Topomax, and without the concentration and memory problems. If you have to stay at a lower dose to avoid these and it's not controlling the mania well, then it's not the right med for you.
Please tell me all the meds and milligrams and how many times a day you take them.
Topomax 75mg and prozac 20 mg
Just thought you all would want to know I implemented a very strict bedtime scedule on myself. Since I am bound to be up by 7 I goto bed at 11 and I follow all the suggestions I got in my class and since then.......its still hard to get out of bed but I think th ats just genetic. LOL. Unless you have a cute 2 yr old blue eyed blond ask for waffles at 6am, then........all bets are off. But anyway, I have been doing better with the sleep thing. That way if I start to vear off it I can ask myself whats going on.
YEA ME!
Pepper
Hi, Pepper!
I am so glad to hear about your sleep schedule - it's absolutely vital to get enough sleep and at the same time, since lack of and erratic schedules aggravate mood swings greatly. People underestimate the power of sleep! I am religious about it. The other night I woke up at 3:00 a.m. but I didn't let myself sleep until bedtime, cos I didn't want to get messed up;it already depressed me that day! That hasn't happened at all since I got stable, weird.
Ok, if you are feeling hypomanic at all, it's because of Prozac. Tell your doc, SSRIs are not recommended for bipolars who deal mostly with mania, it makes it much worse, along with anxiety. Topamax is usually effective around 100-200 mg - some take up to 400 mg. If you stay on Prozac, you will probably need to up the Topamax. If you are doing well, with no symptoms, leave it, but tell your doc if you are feeling hyper!
Good for you! 