Feeling Lonely

Nickelbackgirl80 · April 4, 2006, 10:05pm

Hi everyone I am new here. I guess I will start from the top with my story. At the age of 17 I was hospitilized for bipolar disorder which I do not think I have. Anyways I was hospitilized twice meds worked for a while but then I would just crash down into a further depression. At the age of 18 I stopped all meds because I was happy and didn't think they were really doing anything to help me. Since that time I still suffer occasional bouts of depression. I will also add in that my mom has schizo-affective disorder and that I have many aunts and uncles with depression. I am now soon to be 26 and I just feel very alone. I am married and I work and go to school right now. I am just overwhelmed I don't want to go to my classes I don't feel like it is worth my time I feel like noone cares if I suceed or fail. I have had these feelings before this is the same way I felt when I dropped out of high school.

I just feel worthless the only thing I even enjoy anymore is work and lately that has not given me much enjoyment at all I use to be eager to be there and now I am anxious to get off of work and come home and not do anything.

My husband and I fight constantly he has a anger problem that we have been trying to work through, and it is negativly impacting the way I feel.

I just have a millon thoughts running through my head and no matter what I do I can't seem to get rid of the negativity. I am tired all the time, yet I can't sleep I overreact to little things and the list goes on. I know what can happen if I let this go on. I nearly lost my life to the negative thoughts when I was younger that is the only reason I got help then. I am thinking I need to take the summer semester of school off and visit with my family and friends some and let my mind get some rest.

I am also considering asking my dr to prescribe me an anti-depressent I have taken zoloft and it did nothing for me.

I know there are new drugs out can anyone tell me anything about them?

Heaven’s gates won’t open up for me With these broken wings I’m fallin’ And all I see is you These city walls ain’t got no love for me I’m on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you Come please I’m callin’ And all I need from you Hurry I’m fallin’ Show me what it’s like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right And I’ll show you what I can be Say it for me Say it to me And I’ll leave this life behind me Say it if it’s worth saving me Hurry I’m fallin’

Nickelback- Savin' Me

els · April 4, 2006, 10:17pm

Hi nicklebackgirl80 ~ This is one of my most favorite bands. I love their songs. I wanted to welcome you to Healing Well forum. It seems like you already have a pretty good game plan set up for yourself. I know that I too find it easy to get overwhelmed at times with school and when I was working also. Depression is a difficult disease to have and treat. There are many medications out now. I take Effexor and it has worked really well for me. Your doctor could definitely recommend a medication that would be best suited to your needs. Please do let us know how it goes and feel free to continue to post we would love to hear more from you.....Take care

~elisha~

Rianna · April 4, 2006, 11:14pm

Hi - thanks for sharing your story. Have you looked into a different class of drugs? Some of the older antidepressants are very effective. I know I tried all the SSRI's (Lexapro, Zoloft, Prozac, etc) to no avail, and had terrible side effects and they dulled my emotions. There are many different classes of drugs you can talk to your doctor about..such as Tetracyclics, or SSNRI's (I think Cymbalta is an SSNRI) as well as Tricyclics. I am on an older medication - Remeron (Mirtazapine) and it has worked very well, and is usually very well tolerated. It can have a bit of a sedating effect at first, so it is usually prescribed before bedtime. My only side effect when I first started on it was increased appetite. Also, a Cognitive behavior therapy workbook that I was given in couseling was very effective for my negative thoughts..it is called "Ten Days to Self Esteem" by David D. Burns, M.D. It is an excellent workbook for helping defeat depression and overcome negative thinking patterns. Fighting with your husband and the stress you are under can definately take it's toll, I have been there and know what it is like. The tension that arguing and fighting creates is just awful. Perhaps your doctor can prescribe a medication for anxiety that will help you cope as well.