I think we can all relate to some of these at times...
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline!
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press; no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short- term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down and cry.
I hope no one is offended by this post, by the way...I work in the mental health field and do have a somewhat jaded, cynical sense of humor!
You crack me up Sarita
Definetely no offense taken here but I did see myself in some of those people 
Take care, Softy
LOL
I love it!
Co-Moderator for the IBS Forum
I love it!
Co-Moderator for the IBS Forum
Please donate to help HealingWell continue to help us..... www.healingwell.com/donate
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
That is hilarious, i love it!
seriously, that rocked...
--bunny
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?