You sound like a bright and caring person, and i think maybe your mother is taking advantage of that, you mentioned drugs, this is quite common, where the drugs become the be all and end all, no one matters outside of this,
you can only look after yourself, and do what you have to to live your life, and your mum obviously at the moment has no consideration for you, "that may change, but it will have to come from her" and only when she finds what is in her heart,
Focus on yourself and your future, and don't buy into anger or guilt she may try to put on you, if you have no respect for your mum, next time she calls, tell her so, but don't go into it, if you sense an arguement, leave, let her think about it, and don't be guilty for what you feel, or say, just say it, and let it go,
This is your life, dont let anyone spoil it for you
Brownleaf is right. you have to focus on yourself,and make sure that you are where you want to be.
Do not let her bring you down just because she is down.
I have 2 kids ages 18 and 16,and after struggling for 2 years after loosing my job,and sinking in the deep hole.I
was very much relieved when my kids wanted to live with their dad (ex husband). He had a job, is remarried and is very stable. I told my kids everyday that I was on the deep end,and that I did not want it to bring them down. To focus on themselves. That is was not their fault my life went to shambles.
Just tell your mom that you love her,but you have to do what is best for you. Then hopefully when she is back on her feet, she will see that you made the right choice.
Good luck and keep your head up!
Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Hi innocent, You sound a lot like one of my cousins. My aunt has chosen a hard way of life for herself, unfortunately this effected my cousins greatly. When they were growing up they were always moving due to getting kicked out, evicted, not have the rent or my aunts boyfriend at the time would throw them out. My aunt has also had a problem with drugs & prostitution for many years. How her 2 daughters came out to be responsible adults was totally on them. Jackie mostly holds great resentment and anger toward her mother. They do have a relationship but is it tenuous at best and when they are together you can tell that there is friction there by the comments that Jackie makes. My aunt was diagnosed with having bipolar disorder several years ago so this would explain a lot of her behavior. Now she still chooses to torcher herself with drugs and alcohol.
I know it is difficult to try to do your best and be your best when you have so much going on in your life. But it seems that you have chosen to stay in a home with your sister that is stable and not give in to your mother wanting you to move back with her. If you had you obviously would be homeless again. When someone is doing drugs they are not themselves, the only thing they can think of is their next fix or getting money for their next fix. I understand that you want her to see what you have accomplished and be proud but it seems that she wont be able to unless she gets rid of the drugs. The best thing to do is put your energy into your school and keep working on those scholarships as that's what will help get you to college. It sounds like you already have your path in life chosen, not to go down the same road your mother has. Your a strong person remember that.
Everyone here has given you really good advice! I do hope you'll take it! You are not your mother's keeper. She's made her own life choices and she has to accept the consequences. The same is true of you. If you buy into her guilt trips and such, she'll just take you down with her. You have to be strong and take care of yourself, because she's rejected the responsibility. Drugs become "gods" to addicts. They sacrifice everything on the altar of their next "high". People have killed family members for drug money. They have sold their own children (even little ones) to molesters. They prostitute themselves, sell all their possessions, give up their dignity, and on and on! Your mom on drugs is a different person than she would be if she weren't on them. Maybe one day she'll get her life straightened out, but that's something that she'll have to do herself. You can't do it for her. Make the most of your own life and remember that you are not defined by what others around you do. You live your life in such a way that if you had a child, you'd be a role model for it. And who knows? Maybe one day you really be a mom with her own STABLE family!
Hang in there and keep up the good work!
janet
I was okay until that flock of bird dogs flew over...
Hi innocenteck0,
I think you're pretty amazing. You're mom is lost and you can't help her with that. Family can't help family with someone in her state of mind. She needs professional help.
The tragedy would be if she brought you down with her. It's natural to have the feelings you have. Here's a prayer called the Serenity Prayer. It's one of the great prayers, quotes of all time. I hope you take it to heart.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change those that I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Ed
www.everyday-wisdom.com