Just need some feedback, sort of lost

Diseases & Conditions Depression
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This is my first post here but reaching out for some feedback or to get some advise from other's experiences.  I have been taking antidepressants for about 7-8 months.  I started out taking Lexapro, this seemed to kick in pretty quickly and at the end of the first week I had 3-4 days that felt wonderful, I was on top of the world.  I thought if this is what meds can do for you, why had I been so scared and waited so long.  Those days didn't last very long, it tapered off and then went downhill pretty fast.  I then was switched to Wellbutrin XL 300 mg per day.  I had no trouble transitioning to the new med, no noticable side affects.  They seemed to work pretty good and I have been on Wellbutrin XL now for 3-4 months.  It is almost as if they have stopped working.  I don't feel as bad as I did before started to take meds but at the same time I feel blah, have not energy, absolutely no sex drive (which haven't had forever now), I want to sleep alot, getting up to do things or participate in things is something I have to make myself do.  I just feel like life and dealing with everything is a big chore and I am just really tired, so I just get by day to day.....no way to live and this is not the way I want to live. I am married and have three kids and my life is less than satisfying, including the marriage which is a source of my depression, as well as just the stress of three teens, financial troubles, etc.   I just don't know what to do....am I expecting to much from the meds?  I will be honest I haven't done much to lately to help myself out, I don't exercise, I eat too much and too often.  I have a good amount of weight in the past few months, which I don't blame on the meds, just lack of exercise and eating way too much, particularly sweets.  I am thinking about going to the doc again, though my regular doc I had been going to is no longer available so have had to switch.  I guess I just want to know what I should be able to expect from the meds and how much of my depression is just my own fault and laziness.  Any insight would be much appreciated.
 
 
2
I was on drugs for 2 years. All it did for me is keep the suicidal tendencies away. But then again, not really sure if they went away on their own, either.
My sister, on the other hand, started taking a smaller dose of antidepressants and she is the happiest person in our family.
So I must say that it works differently for everyone. One safe note, though, is not to depend on them to save your life. I think that's a mistake lots o' folks make. If you treat it like a wheel chair, it will debilitate you, for you are expecting it to heal you. Try treating it like a band-aid to stop the bleeding. Now you need disinfectant.
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Thanks for much for the reply.  I have a similar situation, my mom has suffered from depression for years, finally after I told her I had started on meds, she talked to her doc.  She started on the Lexapro, same as me and is doing wonderfully.  It drives me crazy.  I know I need to help myself and I know steps I need to take but can't have no drive, motivation, can't seem to take the first step. I pretty much just feel numb and distant.  Maybe I just need a boot up my boot to get me going.
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Nightskye, just want to post that the weight and sweet cravings probaly really are not your fault.  These are side effects of the meds.  As far as the laziness you feel could be your depression and/or part of how the meds also make you feel.  They can make you feel foggy, less social and feel like just doing plain nothing.  You should talk to your Dr. about it and maybe read some additional forums.  Good Luck!!!
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Nightskye,

I'm sorry that you're not feeling well and it sounds like there's lots going on in your life right now. It definitely sounds like the meds aren't working as they should, but that doesn't mean that there isn't a better med that won't work for you. It usually takes a while to get the right dose/mix but the meds should help to level the playing field for you so you can take care of all the other parts of your life better. Its all about baby steps - maybe exercising is a bit too much to think about today, but maybe making an appointment with your doc to discuss other options will help take the edge off.

And I think that the sweets cravings (and often carbs) is a characteristic of depression. I think that it might be one of the things that goes hand in hand with the whole seratonin upset that saps all of your energy - a vicious cycle that is hard to break. So don't be hard on yourself about that.

Take care and I hope that you find some resolution,
Putter

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Thanks so much for your input.  I really need to hear from somebody that has been there or is there.  I don't really have anyone to talk to, my mom is doing so well on hers and tells me I just need to make some changes and make some hard decisions and then mine will get better.  If I could only get myself to a place where I can make those changes and make those hard decisions.  I hate talking about it to anyone else because it makes me feel weak, it is hard to explain and most days I just don't want to talk.  You have to put on an act in this world, to get along in social settings and at work.....so when I get home I tend to really close up.  Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share and offering your thoughts and ideas.
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for what its worth my wife tried a few different meds before she got the righ balance 200mg effexor in am when she has breakfast and 20 mg wellbutrin at supper which doesnt seem to effect her sleep ..
I know what you are saying about not wanting to talk as I live with it and have learned to give lots of space and eventually she will come around ..my doc had tried to get me taking dep meds but I dont as have learned to catch myself when I am falling ...it is very hard to teach yourself to catch yourself before you plummet into a depressive state but when you do learn it does make a world of difference and you can do it you just got to remain positive and tell yourself you can do it and find stuff to help keep you out of the D state...goodluck
J

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

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Thanks, James, sometimes I think I have used meds as a crutch.  Unfortunately, I have found myself over the years, playing the victim and looking for a quick fix or magic pill that would turn my life around.  I know it doesn't exist and I need to grab myself up by the bootstraps and tackle this life of mine.  I just feel very weak like I don't have what it takes and don't even know where to begin.  Maybe I need therapy more than I need meds.  I have an appt.with the doc in the morning but have been wrestling with canceling it, I get to where I just feel like I am whining, making a co-pay for her to listen.  There is a part of me that wishes I had never started taking meds....and just battled it out.  Maybe I should talk to the doctor about weaning off of them and see what happens.
 
I think your wife is very fortunate in that you sound very patient and understanding.  With your support I am sure you will both battle throught this and find that happily ever after we are all seeking...whatever that is to you.
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Nightskye,

I feel compelled to post again. I've been to the darkest, most awful places of depression and I can remember well the agony - all of what you wrote in your first post were things that I had experienced. I was fortunate to respond well to medication and am now able to live life. I think that your original plan of visiting the doctor is a really good move. You said that you wanted to gain a better understanding of what you could reasonably expect from medication and how much of it is dependant upon you - I would say that is an important step in figuring out how to keep well.

I would never dispute that our actions play a big role in our own health, but know from experience that professional help (therapy or medication) can make a big difference in overcoming the depression. The very root of the illness is its ability to strip away your last ounce of self worth, convincing you that you are the problem and it is your fault that you feel unwell. You need to give yourself the permission to get help to break through the darkness so you can feel well enough to take care of yourself.

I really hope that things work out well for you,

Putter
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Thanks, Putter, I really appreciate what you said it is both very supportive and encouraging.  I just got back from the doctor and the pharmacy.  My doc suggested we try one more thing before having me actually evaluated by a psychiatrists.  I have been taking the Wellbutrin XL 300 mg per day for 3-4 months, today she added 20 mg of generic Prozac.  I am to go back and see her in a month to see how that is doing.  She had me fill out an inventory of sorts very honestly and then wants to me fill it out again in 30 days to see how my outlook has changed.  I am a little scared about adding a new drug and maybe more so about taking two antidepressants.  It was a huge step for me to take any, but I finally had reached the point I had to do something.  I do feel I need to do something to get me up so I can start dealing with my life and tacking some of its issues. 
 
It sounds as if you made your way and did what you needed to do to get there.  I hope I am following in your footsteps and making my way too. 
 
I would like to know if anyone else is taking Wellbutrin XL and Prozac or any two different drug combinations to see what your experience has been.....I am getting ready to take mine now....and really nervous.
 
Thanks so much!
 
Julie aka Nightskye
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Julie,

I'm really glad to hear that you went to your doctor - it is a tough thing to do, but it is important to your health and the health of your family/relationships - you should be proud of yourself. It sounds like she's really on the ball and that 'inventory' seems like a great idea to help with objectivity.

I'm a complete lightweight when it comes to medication and can't tolerate very high doses. I have Bipolar and most people with BP average 3-4 meds while 2 was my max. I can't speak from direct experience with Wellbutrin and Prozac, but I can in regards to using more than one med (Effexor and Depakote). If you have concerns talk with your pharmacist - its their job to help you find answers. In my case, taking two medications simultaneously allowed me to take less overall. I know that it sounds bizarre, but my doctor explained that some medications basically piggy-back on one another making each other's effects more pronounced without an increase in dosage. I think that the attempt is to try to accentuate the positive effects of each med without increasing doses which would usually increase any side effects. Since the wellbutrin worked for a while, your doctor might be trying the prozac to see if it will boost the effect rather than going through the challenge of a whole different med.

Hopefully someone with more specific experience can reply and let you know how it worked for them. Take care of yourself and good luck with the new options,
Putter

putter@healingwell.net

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 I do feel good about going to the doctor and taking the steps towards improving my life.  This is a new doc for me and I have only been to her twice but so far I think she is going to do right by me.
 
I don't think you are a lightweight, anyone who can handle these types drugs at all can't label themselves a lightweight.  Besides that sometimes less is more, so if two meds is working for you then that is great.  My doc mentioned bi-polar with me...thought I am not sure what that is.  When I was on Lexapro, at the end of the first week I had 3-4 days that were absolutely wonderful and then it tapered off and then shortly after that went downhill.  Because of that, she thought bi-polar might be an issue.  She did say that the Prozac goes at the depression from another angle and should boost the Wellbutrin.  In fact she mentioned that my Wellbutrin might have to be reduced depending on how things go.  I found a great article taking about this exact stuff and treatment resistant depression at Healthy Place.com, they have alot of good stuff on there. 
 
Putter, sounds like you really know your stuff and have done your homework to take care of you.   Thanks again and I too wish you the best.
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Julie,
I'm so happy for you - you really sound like you're on track to finding a solution. After rereading your first post and your last, it sounds like you've been able to find some hope from your appointment with your doctor. It also sounds like you're armed for the task with your research. I haven't been to HP by I will make a point to stop by. Although the path forward may not always be smooth, the effort you've already put in will help to make it easier to cross.
I look forward to hearing how you make out at your 30 day evaluation!
Putter

putter@healingwell.net