I dont know what to do all I know is I want to start throwing things and breaking things like punching holes in walls!!! Why doesnt anything go my way ever I hate my life I hate myself what the heck is wrong with me I dont want to be bipolar any more I just cannot handle this and it seems like no meds ever help any more! Thats it im stopping my meds I did this for someone else and they are or I thought were a good reason to hopefully get straightened out for ha was I wrong he calls me and tells me I am an donkey hole nice huh really nice thing to call your soon to be wife...I would never dream of calling him names I love him way to much to ever hurt him like that! I just dont know what to do and need some help ...God I miss my father I want him back so bad! Ughhhhh here comes the feelings again of raaaaaaaaaaage someone please help before I say something to him I will regret! As for I already think I have!
Oh Tina hun, please talk to your doc before doing anything about your meds -- and remember that they can take up to 12 weeks to work. I lost faith in my partner's meds working so many time in the first few weeks, but they *did* work in the end, and I'd hate to see you giving up a chance for yours to start working. You must be so scared, and frustrated, and *angry* -- I can't begin to *really* know what that's like, but you have loads of people here that can. You will find a huge amount of understanding and support here. Please keep going for now and talk to the folks here and your doc.
Rosie x
Rosie x
Hon, if you are feeling that bad you need to contact your dr. asap! Don't wait till later. You sound very desperate. A couple of statements you made, left me feeling like you may be in trouble. If you feel as though you cannot go on please contact your pdoc or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
Please take care, and call that pdoc!
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
Please take care, and call that pdoc!
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
Unknown
I am sorry you are having a hard time. Please take the advice not to stop taking meds, don't give up something will work. I to am bipolar and regularly hate who I am, but at these times I write a list of anything good in my life. Sometimes it's just as simple of being thankful I have a car, or home and a job I enjoy. This seems to be helpful in at least having a focus on something else rather then self hatred. I am not saying it's easy, but I struggle to with thoughts of why me, why am I not normal etc. I started to realize when I feel this way is when I am cycling rapidly. Do you take a mood stabilizer. It has made life more bearable to not have the extreme ups and downs all day. Call your doc ASAP and tell him/her how you are feeling. I hope I have helped at least a tiny bit. Take care and try making that list. Also with your soon to be husband, I had to come to the understanding that my boyfriend will never know what it's like so when he tells me anything negative I take it in stride and forgive him for not being able to comprehend being bipolar. It also has taken him 11 years to know when my moods are changing, when I cycle and not to call me crazy.
bluejude
there is absolutely no need to worry i am ok i would NEVER kill myself EVER i have children a sister and a brother and a niece who needs me i need me my life is way to valuable to ever do something stupid like that yes i have had thoughts of well maybe everyone would be better off if i wasnt here but then i think to myself and say no way if they dont want me here to freakin bad i am here and deal with it! as for taking my own life it will not nor ever happen as for what god does thats in his/hers hands! as for me like i said nooooooooooo wayyyyyyyyyyy!!!! i promise you that!~~~TINA~~~
thanks for the reassurance, tina. i have been where you are and beyond. it is NOT a happy place, i know.
there are many things that frustrate me and make me angry ( i get angry rather than sad - it's a male thing). i am 60 years old and have done a lot and seen a lot. what i have learned is that nothing is forever (bush will be out of office in just a few years! yeah!!!!!! 
). your bad swings with bp WILL pass. so will your good swings. if change frightens you, you chose the wrong life. stick with it, hon. you are stronger than your ailment. your ailment define who you are or what you can do. believe me, i know. i've been there and back again. remember, the gods never put more on you than you can handle.
). your bad swings with bp WILL pass. so will your good swings. if change frightens you, you chose the wrong life. stick with it, hon. you are stronger than your ailment. your ailment define who you are or what you can do. believe me, i know. i've been there and back again. remember, the gods never put more on you than you can handle. check with your pdoc. take whatever it is that gives you strainth, be it your family, your school, or your religion. it takes this kind of a team to get you through these rough patches. most of us have been there - and come out the other side.
i will keep you in my thoughts. may god bless you and give you peace.
warren