I can't believe it, but in a week or so it will have been 5 years since I heard the dreaded words "you have cancer". For the most part, I don't dwell on the fact that I will never be "safe" or "cured", but my scans are coming up a week from tomorrow and it is all I can do to keep my heart out of my stomach. I know, rationally, that the scans themselves don't change anything, but part of me also would like to keep living a "normal" life even if it's back. I just feel like I'm waiting around for someone to tell me if I'm going to live or die...
I know worrying doesn't help, but D@MN it's hard not to. I just feel myself getting tenser & more anxious with each day.
Please just keep me in your thoughts as I try to keep my cool.
Hugs,
Julie
Do not go gentle into that goodnight,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
~Dylan Thomas
You are definitely in my thoughts. I just had surgery this past Wednesday, so my 5 years are just starting..........I know everyting will be fine for you. You are in my thoughts.
Hugs,
Janis
Janis
Hugs,
Janis
Janis
Julie, you will be in my thoughts. Tests are always the pits. I know that all centers/docs seem to do things differently, but why scans now? Are your tumor markers up? What is the reasoning? I'm coming up on 8 years NED and other than at the beginning have had no scans. In the bc world of paranoia, I worry SHOULD I have had scans. It just never stops, does it? All good thoughts that all will be well for you, and we have this conversation when you go for your TEN year scans.
Empathetic hugs, Glenda
Empathetic hugs, Glenda
Julie,
I heard the term canceritis, and I think most of us probably have it - it's natural. Even though I was just dx and it is stage 1 plus DCIS, if my back bothers me too long, worry, worry, worry! I tend to have panic attacks and I've been reading about how to deal with those and first thing it talks about is facing the fear head on. Then thinking about that a bit and dealing with your thoughts, then moving on because the time had been spent wisely on facing the fear. So, I'm trying to do that and maybe that can help you.
I will be thinking about you this week and next as you do your scans and then wait for the results. Did you have a blood test already? Nothing showing up there, I'm assuming! Do you have any pain that is increasing and won't go away? I'm hoping no to that, too. So, logically, this scan is just to get another baseline at the 5-year mark and you'll be okay!!!!!! Please let us know and write anytime you need to vent or talk about your feelings!!!!! We all really care!
L&H,
Laure'
The finger of God touches your life when you make a friend.
----Mary Dawson Hughes---
I heard the term canceritis, and I think most of us probably have it - it's natural. Even though I was just dx and it is stage 1 plus DCIS, if my back bothers me too long, worry, worry, worry! I tend to have panic attacks and I've been reading about how to deal with those and first thing it talks about is facing the fear head on. Then thinking about that a bit and dealing with your thoughts, then moving on because the time had been spent wisely on facing the fear. So, I'm trying to do that and maybe that can help you.
I will be thinking about you this week and next as you do your scans and then wait for the results. Did you have a blood test already? Nothing showing up there, I'm assuming! Do you have any pain that is increasing and won't go away? I'm hoping no to that, too. So, logically, this scan is just to get another baseline at the 5-year mark and you'll be okay!!!!!! Please let us know and write anytime you need to vent or talk about your feelings!!!!! We all really care!
L&H,
Laure'
The finger of God touches your life when you make a friend.
----Mary Dawson Hughes---
Hey Julie,
Know your worries all too well but I also know that you are going to be just fine. I had all of my check-ups last month (though my onc doesn't do scans) bloodwork, chest xrays, etc. and got the thumbs up. Then and only then are you able to breathe a little better. Hang in there and if you need to talk, give me a call. It has been way too long since we have spoken!
L&H, Christi
Julie, I'm sure things will be fine, but I'm including you in my prayers. Not sure why they're doing scans and such. I've never had scans. Maybe my health provider just doesn't do them. Anyway, I'll definitely be thinking of you on Monday, my friend.
L&H,
Rita
L&H,
Rita
Wishing you clean scans, Julie. Hard to believe it has been five yrs, isn't it??? How time flies. Hannah must be getting to be a big girl by now. Hugs and love, Lauri
"Go confidently into the direction of your dreams. Live the life you always imagined" Thoreau
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
I want to thank you ladies for questioning why I'm doing all these scans. It really got me thinking. I was told by my onc. early on that finding mets early did not improve overall survival rates. I feel great, my blood work has always been fine, so why do it? I called the nurse and told her my concerns and told her I didn't see the point in doing them unless something is discovered at my reg. exam or if I'm experiencing symptoms. She agreed and said she thinks the onc. orders them just because he can and "why not". I asked her to cancel them and said I would just do my regular check-up. She was totally fine with that.
I felt so LIBERATED! I told them what I wanted instead of the other way around!
Thanks, ladies. I really feel at peace with my decision.
Hugs,
Julie
I felt so LIBERATED! I told them what I wanted instead of the other way around!
Thanks, ladies. I really feel at peace with my decision.
Hugs,
Julie
Do not go gentle into that goodnight,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
~Dylan Thomas
Julie,
Isn't it nice to feel like the one in control?
Congratulations sweetie on your 5 year anniversary. You and Hannah go do something FUN!
Love ya,
Debbie
^j^ ^j^
Isn't it nice to feel like the one in control?
Congratulations sweetie on your 5 year anniversary. You and Hannah go do something FUN!
Love ya,
Debbie
^j^ ^j^
"What sweetness is left in life if you take away friendship? It is like robbing the world of the sun"
Cicero
That was very proactive of you. More of us need to be that way. Enjoy yourself with your family.
Wow, you really took me by surprise, Julie! I must say I admire your spunk and courage. I am sure if you had something bothering you, you would call and tests would be ordered then, so I agree why just do them because it is time? That is unless you have issues to be followed..... this is not a blank approval for everyone to cancel tests. Jo-Ann is seeing her doctors this week, and I don't want her to see this and think she can get away with cancelling. LOL Hugs, MK
Wow, Julie! Good for you! My onc feels the same way, which is why I do not get routine scans. I sometimes have wished for them, for peace of mind, but the anxiety of the tests and any possible false positives ("well it looks like it is not cancer, but we need to do one more test to be sure")....who needs it? I figure that if I have a recurrance, I will find it before the doctors. Either I will have an ache or other symptom to report on....
L&H,
Lori
L&H,
Lori