I am so sorry that you are going through a hard time right now. You are welcome to get everything off of your chest here. This is a really supportive group that will listen.
The first thing that I got from your post is that you are an amazing loving father. You have put yourself through so much torture because you care so much. I would suggest that you continue to see the therapist and maybe it might be a good idea that your wife was there also. You are handling this differently and you both don't understand why the both of you are taking it the way you do. My husband and I have this problem about a lot of things. We get angry at each other because of the different way we handle things. It is normal but you both need to realize that and the best way I think is through therapy. It sounds like you both care for your daughter very much. Take Care and please keep posting... we are here for each other :)
I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, but I do understand the feelings that you have. My husband has lung cancer and between all the chemo and radiation he is now unable to walk. It is so sad to see him in this condition.
I have seen both a psychiatrist and therapist. They say I have,situational anxiety/depression. I am taking meds for it and they do seem to help.
I do think a support group for people with children who have autism would help. I'm thinking of looking for a support group for caregivers.
The best to you and your family. Dee
Thank you all for the support. Things have calmed down a little since I last posted. It has been really hard for me. My mind seems to be all over the place. I have been talking with group on-line about it. They help a lot, but only for a short time. I will stress out and start thinking the worst...I feel better when I talk with them...but not always. The only time I feel any better is when I talk the whole thing out. I need to do it almost everyday. I think I am bothering the people I talk to so most of the time I don't say anything. After a few days I am a mess. I am not sure where to turn to. All I know is that my heath is not as good as before; I am back smoking again and have no motivation to exercise. All I want to do is sit around and smoke and worry. I am not sure what to do.
Have you been to your family doctor and talked this over with him? The reason I ask is that I have felt like you and now take anti-depressants and am doing much better. I was up for hours in the middle of the night and worry clouded my daytime thoughts also. It was draining.
Take care and I pray she doesn't have autism.
Take care, Softy
I have not done so yet. I have been considering it. But I am in the military and am not sure if that will affect my status. If the way I feel persists I will break down and do it. I have been a little better the last few days but still thinking about most of the time. I am not sure how I feel about antidepressants. I have never taken them. Are there a lot of side effects? Will I feel loopy? Those would be my only concerns. I know after I get a diagnosis about her will I start to feel better.
But I will say this, antidepressants can help you. If you dont want to try them, then try some St. Johns Wort over the counter, herbal anxiety/depression remedy. It can help. Or even SamE...its the latest and greatest so they say for herbal natural treatments. These are only suggestions. But, I wanted to add that taking an antidepressant should NOT adversely affect your military career in any way shape or form. Unless you were to become paryalyzed by your mental status, meaning you cant function and do your job anymore because you're so depressed, well then they have every right to medically discharge you. But for seeking help and treatment, no, they cant touch you.
I was Active Duty AF for 4 yrs and worked in teh mental health clinic so I'm familiar w/protocol in that area. I saw many folks d/c'd for their severe mental status, such as schizophrenia or bipolar that is not controlled. But these medicines available today allow us to function normally. They may have a few side effects in the beginnign, but usually after 2 weeks or so, your body gets used to them and those side effects disappear. I'm on Paxil 10mgs and I take it every other day, not everyday as it makes me sleepy and crave sweets...lol Not a good thing when I need to be watching my figure! lol
I wish you the very best, please keep us posted. There's a Depression Chat room available to you under CHAT above. Click on it and log in, there's usually someone chatting at all hours!
Stay strong, both your wife (whom you DO need to "jive" with for your daughter's sake) and your daughter need you terribly right now to be strong and be the authority in the family. You can do this. For their sake. Pray about it, He'll carry you and give you the mercy and grace you so desperately need right now.
All my best,
Beth
Well down I go again. I have been feeling better over the last few days (Thanks to Judy)...But I am spiraling down again. I am not even really sure why I have been so stressed out. Still waking up before 5 am everyday. My mind is so tormented, one thought to another. Still losing weight, I could have gone all of yesterday without eating. I know what’s bothering me, but right now nothing jumps out, seems like a lot of underlying thoughts. Combined keeps me awake at night. Anyone have ways for me to unwind, I still don’t have a real good outlet. Talking about with other people heals a lot but it still is only short term. I need to find a longer term, way to release al this anxiety. If anyone has any ideas please let me know.