Hi everyone: I am experiencing something new to me and I don't know if its a new bi polar symptom or med side effect (I'm on Geodon). Haven't talked to my psych doc yet but I think I will tomorrow. Its sort of like anxiety except I don't feel anxious..its more like fear. I have these flashing thoughts of horrible things happening to people close to me. Like my grandson or my kids...just things like the car blowing up with my grandson in the back seat or someone getting attacked by millions of ants or spiders...its awful! I can't watch the news or movies on tv anymore because any little idea just turns into these thoughts of it actually happening. Its not hallucinations, more like a waking dream, but its over in a flash. Its all things that I have no control over but I feel so helpless. Please help if you have any words of wisdom.
Thanks...Lazy
Hi Lazy, I can somewhat identify with your type of anxiety. Mine happens when I'm on the way down, almost like a red flag. My thoughts are of me just dying or my friends dying or my animals dying. This morning I was opening a window in my house, beautiful day here, and I had this sudden thought that I wasn't going to make it back from work today. Today I was going to die. It's a quick thought and very unsettling but I did make it home from work today. I've been having many of these lately and it coincides with coming off an antidepressant. I've been keeping a mood chart and when I see my pdr. this week I will be able to show him how I've been going downhill. Without this chart I usually was just able to report how I was feeling the day of the appointment. I don't know if you are like me but I have such a hard time remembering things since I started on BP meds. So, you might want to try something like a daily chart and see if it happens more or less due to something going on in your life. Best wishes...This is a tough illness, no doubt about it.
Thanks Catnip: Its comforting to know that I'm not alone and I'll give the chart a try...Lazy
I have flashes of disturbing thoughts like that too. I never tell anyone about them because they are strange and out of the blue..but yeah it is disturbing.
i don't know if this is germain, but i get flashes of uncontrollable anger. they don't last long, but they are very intence. i've had this problem almost all my life, so i can't attribute it to bp meds.
hope my experience is of some use.
warren
Thanks for your replies. It is hard to talk about so I appreciate everyone's honesty. I looked up the Geodon that I'm on and there is nothing like this listed as a side effect so I guess its the disease. Sometimes its like a fog rolling in. Today at work I felt it coming on and I felt helpless. Getting home to my hubby and pets helped me take my mind off it.