one order of double mast...coming up

Diseases & Conditions Breast Cancer
1
I am still trying to wrap my head around what is coming up, but I am scheduled for a double mast on Thurs. at 12:15. I am not looking forward to this for so many reasons... My body image is in the pits right now (aftermath of pregnancy and chemo), and then I'm going to do this. I'm not sure how that is going to affect me, but I cant see it helping! I also dont like the thought of not being able to give my DD a hug for a week or two, and being able to pick her up for even longer. My arms feel so empty when she's not in them - although she is now almost walking without any help - she just needs to hold onto my finger for balance. then there are the drains. Yuck. I know that I am doing what needs to be done to help keep me as healthy as possible, but being gene positive really sucks.
 
Know of any really good ways to say goodbye to the b**bs??
 
chantry 

There are no wrong turnings, only paths we did not know we were meant to take - Guy Gavriel Kay

2

((((((Chantry)))))))))))

The most important thing about any surgery is going into it w/ a positive attitude. It makes all of the difference in how quickly you heal - both physically and mentally. I  don't believe, at this time, that you feel that this surgery is necessary. If you really feel this way, then get another opinion. Talk to your onco, surgeon and medical dr before Thurs. Call the ACS or the social worker at your hospital or onco office and talk to them. I know that they can put you in touch w/ someone that has been in your situation. If you need to reschedule, then do so. But it is imperative that YOU feel that this is something that is going to help you beat this darn disease and allow you to see your daughter grow up. Yes, you won't be able to pick her up for a few weeks but I am sure that there will be someone w/ you that can put her on your lap and let her hug your neck. The drains won't be in that long. Go purchase one of the tops that has pockets for the drains. Make an appt to get your hair and makeup done. Do something that will make you feel good. Go do some retail therapy. Get you some nice, soft sexy pj's or night gowns (remember they need to button down the front) so that you can feel good when you get home.

A friend of mine was diagnosed last year. She had just been blessed w/ triplet grandchildren and already had a set of twin grandchildren. She didn't want to have the chemo because she would lose her hair. We finally talked and I asked her whether it was more important for her to die sometime in the near future w/ all of her hair or was it more important to get treatment, lose her hair and have it grow back and see her grandchildren grow up? The choice was hers. She had the chemo and her hair is gorgeous. (so are her grandkids)

I don't mean to sound harsh but you need to do whatever it is going to take to make sure that you will be around for the next 50 + years for your daughter and her children and their children. Plus I am sure that your husband wants you to be here also.

As to how to say goodbye...Another friend of mine was 32 when she had a double mastectomy. She has 3 children and is a first grade teacher. Her friends threw her a party. Everything was centered around boobs. Balloons that they popped. A boobless cake. Etc. She said that it made things easier because she could laugh and also knew that she would be accepted after the surgery and have lots of support. She just recently had her reconstruction and will soon celebrate her 5 yr anniversary.

 Lots of love and prayers...Deb

 

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Chantry,
 
I wish I could say I know what you are going through, but I don't.  Not totally.  I don't have children, so I can't relate to that, but I agree with Deb.  You have to do whatever will keep you alive and you MUST have a positive attitude.  I only had one breast removed and honestly, it wasn't that bad.  I'm sure it's different having both removed.  If you aren't ready emotionally to do it, then postpone it.  I doubt waiting a little while longer will make that much difference.  However, talk it over with your onc and surgeon first.
 
If you do go through with it, good luck.  As for saying goodbye, I didn't do anything special.  I just joked with everyone to take a good look, because it would be gone.  LOL  Now that I've had reconstruction, which I didn't think I would do, I am SO happy with the results.  I'm not finished with everything, but I like what the results are so far, especially the bonus tummy tuck. 
 
This is a very hard and emotional decision and I am confident you will do the right thing for you.  My thoughts are with you.

L & H,
Kathy

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Chantry,

I will be there, holding your hand, Thursday. The PCE will probably get fired up. Hang in there, you are making yourself healthier. Have someone put your DD in your lap and you can give special gentle hugs to her. Remember you will be very well soon and taking finger holding walks before you know it. And as for those pesky drains, make sure you hold your arms level with you waist, keep you arms crosses if it helps. The longer they are level the shorter time the drains stay in. Good luck and I will have you in my prayers.

Hugs,

Candy

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
 

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(((Chantry)))
I had a double mast just 5 yrs ago, on 3/29/01. the surgery went well; i was home in a day and a half...not alot of pain, helped a great deal (beware it is constipating!!!). i had 4 drains and i despised them!!! watch out for kitchen knobs, if you get one caught the drain will PULL because it is stitched in... OUCH! i wore a lightweight comfortable robe with the drains in the pockets. you'll have to empty them and measure fluid a few times a day, thats a pain as well. but after 2-4 weeks you'll be rid of them, so just think of that! as many ladies on this board know, i whined and complained about my drains quite a bit! ;-) i did not have any reconstr. so i was up and around really quickly. i had staples instead of stiches, which i was not aware i had until i peeked under my dressings after i had gotten home and saw all this METAL! i was not prepared for that. gosh what else... oh yes the not hugging the kiddies rule, that one was very very difficult. but if you can get them to lay next to you in bed for a nap, that might suffice until you can hug them again. hang in there, we will be thinking of you and sending strong prayers on thursday.
hugs
stefanie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's been worth everything I've been through,
 To do what I do"

                       To Do What I Do   -Alan Jackson, 2004

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Chantry, I took a picture before my double mast. It is one strange feeling knowing what's coming up but you ARE doing the right thing for your health and for your DD. Just keep remembering that when you start to feel down. It helped me to talk to God alot that week, if you're a praying woman. Otherwise, you'll have to make due with my prayers for you!!! :-) The drains will be a pain, but you'll get through it - you're very strong - stronger than you know! I'm here for you!!!!!

L&((((H))))
Laure'

The finger of God touches your life when you make a friend.
----Mary Dawson Hughes---

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Well, in preparation, I am giving all the hugs I possibly can to my DD. She's getting pretty irritated with me, cause all she wants to do is walk, and all I want to do is hold her! I will take a couple of pictures, for posterity, so I can look back and remember when. Ahhh, nostalgia.
I am not getting recon done at this time, as I will be doing rads later, and I also didnt want to have to wait for months to hold DD - weeks are bad enough. However, when I do get the "girls" done, I'm going for a B cup!! (I barely filled an A-cup, even when I was nursing!). DH is going to be taking Thurs, Fri, and Mon off, and then half-days for the rest of the week. His mom will be coming over to help, and we've had alot of friends and neighbours say that they would love to help. I am really going to miss taking showers! I hate Drains!!!
Thanks everyone!

chantry

There are no wrong turnings, only paths we did not know we were meant to take - Guy Gavriel Kay

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Chantry: I am glad that you are getting lots of hugs. I can imagine how frustrated your little one is and can see her taking off now. lol
 
I was able to take a shower when I had my drains. I had someone help w/ my hair. I also had someone standing nearby for the first few days.
Did they tell you that you couldn't take a shower?
 
Deb

 

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Chantry,I had left breast removed march.8 and the doctor said i was at high risk for it going into the right breast ,so i told them to take it off so the right one was removed August 2005.I chose not to have reconstruction and im glad i made that choice.The Drains were not to bad for me,i only had them in for a week.Think possitive and pray to God to help you through this journey and he will comfort and guide you. Tammy
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Chantry:
 
I've been thinking about you and am hoping you can fare well through this.  Sometimes we have to do a minute-by-minute cost-benefit analysis.  What's the benefit and what's the cost.  You can do it for the hugs (don't forget, that's only temporary!!!!!) and you can do it for the appearance.  DD's gonna want her mom there for first day of school, getting her period, first love and first crush, and prom and all that wonderful stuff.  She's not going to remember that you couldn't hug her for a few weeks when she was an infant.  You'll have this all behind you by then, and be so grateful you did this. 
 
Try, that's all I ask.  I'm sure it's really hard, but we're all behind you, hoping and praying you get the strength to buck up.

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius

Ellen