Hi everyone. ok please tell me if you think i am making the right desision because i am feeling really guity about it. ok here is what is going on. 
I am a twenty 3 year old, for the four years i have been at home taking care of my 54 year old mother who is dignosed with parkinsons disease.For me this is not an easy undertaking. the reason i have to be home is that my mother doesn't always listen to her doctors.at this point without her meds she is unable to walk to all and even with her meds she is not able to walk for more then 20-25 min. She is wetting the bed almost every night. i am not sure if the hallucinaton are a product of the parkinson or the medication, however they are now a part of my daily life. most time she thinks that i am a nurse that is on shift with another nurse. she see my sister and has conversation with her all most everyday. My sister is over 3000 miles away. she has got up in the midldle of the night and gone out side,( she said to go an d pick up my sister from her friend house,) at which point i had to go and change the locks. she get angry at me for keeoing her from going home, and tell me just about every day the she is going home after lunch. right now aI am stay with my older brother in NYC but i am going back fly back home in 2 wks, at which point it would be me taking care of my mother again mostly by myself my family is suggesting putting her in a rest home. Think about my mother living in a rest home make me feel both sick and extemely sad at the same time and i really dont want to do it. The only problem is i no my mother need a nurse or at least someone who is not guessing at what ti do and i no that, that is not me. I also no that i need to start to lead me own life, but i really don't want my mom in a resting home for goodness sakes she is only 54 years old and should be in the prime of her life haviing fun. what should i do and how can i not feel guilty about the disisions that have to be made.
I am a twenty 3 year old, for the four years i have been at home taking care of my 54 year old mother who is dignosed with parkinsons disease.For me this is not an easy undertaking. the reason i have to be home is that my mother doesn't always listen to her doctors.at this point without her meds she is unable to walk to all and even with her meds she is not able to walk for more then 20-25 min. She is wetting the bed almost every night. i am not sure if the hallucinaton are a product of the parkinson or the medication, however they are now a part of my daily life. most time she thinks that i am a nurse that is on shift with another nurse. she see my sister and has conversation with her all most everyday. My sister is over 3000 miles away. she has got up in the midldle of the night and gone out side,( she said to go an d pick up my sister from her friend house,) at which point i had to go and change the locks. she get angry at me for keeoing her from going home, and tell me just about every day the she is going home after lunch. right now aI am stay with my older brother in NYC but i am going back fly back home in 2 wks, at which point it would be me taking care of my mother again mostly by myself my family is suggesting putting her in a rest home. Think about my mother living in a rest home make me feel both sick and extemely sad at the same time and i really dont want to do it. The only problem is i no my mother need a nurse or at least someone who is not guessing at what ti do and i no that, that is not me. I also no that i need to start to lead me own life, but i really don't want my mom in a resting home for goodness sakes she is only 54 years old and should be in the prime of her life haviing fun. what should i do and how can i not feel guilty about the disisions that have to be made. yours truely,
Perpetual state of confusion