Ususally I am a expert at hidding my depression on my swings, I have been going threw this for 9 years, but lately its getting really bad, I havent called the doctor, got new insurance that wont pay for it, so with all the other health stuff forget it, but I am so depressed , I cry all the time, try to hide that, cant sleep unless I take like 3 adivans, then I try n ot to take any during the day, I hate every thing and every one, I think about just smaching my car into a tree all the time and being done, just want to be done!!!! If my kids were just a little older or out of high school I would, I feel like I am just biding my time till they are on there own and then I can just go home, you know what I mean, doesn anyone else feel that way, my parent are dead, been dead along time, just want to go were I am wanted and loved, I cant take it any more, this feeling is getiing more and more overwhelelmeing, what is wrong with me, I am so tired of being tired,
I am sorry I am such a bumber, I am sorry,
Cheri lynn
cheri
you know and i know that you need to see a doctor and soon. why won't your insurance pay for it? call the doctor's office and ask if the dx code could be put so they will pay. you could check in with the insurance co. too and just ask. something is very off chemically which adds to the depression... not just chemical but the stress of having no doc to turn to is making things worse. you also might check with your local NAMI.. they often have lists of docs that have sliding scales, etc. don't smash the car. thought of that one too, but didn't because was afraid other car's driver would get in trouble. .. or it wouldn't work. so forget that one. best and possibly only thing is to make some phone calls, and make them soon. if you can't handle it all, have a friend do it for you. helps to have someone you can turn to in a pinch.
linda
Pity is right you need to get to a dr. What insurance do you have, if you don't mind me asking? Most of them have a different number for mental health. When I have changed ins. I have always had to call the mental health part of the ins. company and go thru what all is wrong so they will authorize dr. visits and therapy or what ever else the dr. thinks I need. Hurting yourself is not the answer. You have alot of love and support around you, it just is not as clearly seen right now. I know exactly what you are saying about taking the pills at night just to sleep. I was taking 4 - 5 of the 1.0 xanax plus some sominix to sleep, and there were times that did not work. My dr. found out and gave me Trazadone, but I can't take it much because it puts me out for days. Then I wake up feeling like I really tied one on the night before and I don't even drink. The hang over without the fun.
Anyway check with your ins co. and if that don't work call your gp and explain the situation and I'll bet there is something they will do for you.
Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.
Some day I'll wish upon a star. And wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemondrops, away above the chimney tops. That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh why can't I? Some day I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me. Where troubles melt like lemondrops, away above the chimney tops. That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh why can't I?