I'm so sorry to hear you are hurting so, and even lacking the support that you do, in fact, need desperately. If I were in your shoes, my first course of action would be to phone my primary care physician and explain the situation. I am not familiar with Crohn's, but it does seem that your doctor could at least get you started on an anti-depressant medication to take off the edge; this will also help you achieve the goals that you will be reaching for when you do get in to see the therapist.
Medication is a very helpful tool in conjunction with the therapy; and, of course, you have a lot of work to do for yourself and some self-help will prove beneficial. The medication will help you find the strength you need to get the most out of the therapy.
Before you go to therapy, write down what is bothering you and what your goals are. That way, you will not waste unnecessary time and/or monies solely on talk therapy that only provides relief during that hour you are in there .... you will need applications for daily living. There is also a lot of helpful information in the Panic-Anxiety forum; many of the folks in there have been through the same, and have some very good information posted that has proven helpful.
The therapist can also be very helpful in gaining the understanding from family that you not only need, but also deserve so that you can have an effective recovery and/or relief without such an extended timeline to reach that better place. It is very difficult when support is lacking and you feel so isolated and alone; been there, and so sorry to hear that you are now.
(((Hugs))) and many prayers for you and your family.
~ Cindy
P.S. Meanwhile, try to pamper yourself and look into some relaxation therapies and techniques that are individually suitable for you. Also bear in mind that it can take up to six weeks for the various anti-depressant meds to kick in to full capacity. However, in some cases it is only a matter of days; I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. My only remaining suggestion is to try hard to relax and be patient until help arrives from the doctor and/or therapist.
Post Edited (Neurotransmissing) : 6/4/2006 1:16:04 PM (GMT-6)
You'r advice is really smart and will help get me doing something. I just don't know how long I can let him treat me this way. I never knew I could be this miserable. I have no one to turn to. I thought I had gotten used to being alone. I feel almost cursed in away.
Thank you any how. Anymore info would be appreicated
rj
Do you have a primary care physician? Sounds strange that nobody will help you out by phoning in a simple script for an anti-depressant medication. I do understand that you have other conditions, but multitudes of other people do and they are not denied this relief. I'm only a layperson, but certainly not understanding how an anti-depressant med would impede or impact your conditions or other meds in a negative way; there is a huge number of anti-depressant meds available.
I'm sorry I don't have more to help you with; I'm not understanding why your doctors are turning you away just because you have multiple things going on ... all the more reason you need to be seen and treated! Keep making those calls. If you don't have any luck, however, you may have to practice patience (excruciating, I know) until you see that therapist. The therapist should be able to guide you to proper medical care, evaluate, and see that you get what you need. They keep lists there in their office specifically for this purpose.
I'm very sorry that you are still not getting support today, but I have been thinking of you so I hope you don't feel so alone. It hurts a lot to feel abandoned and alone and you already have plenty enough on your plate!!
(((Huge hugs))) and many prayers for you!!
~ Cindy
Hi Redjeep, I understand perfectly how it feels when you have a spouse who is unsupportive when your ill. When I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and having to go through all the doctor appointments my husband never went with me. I was admitted on two occassions to the hospital 35 miles away from where we live to get Sol-Medrol Infusions, was in the hosp for 5 days each time and neither time did he come to visit me. I am blessed that I have a wonderful mother who is very supportive and was there for me everyday and continues to be there for me. But after several years of this type of treatment from my husband and his disdain over my having to take medications and the impact it had on HIS life, I finally snapped. My depression was at an all time high and if I didnt leave I feared I would harm myself. Only then did he try to make an effort to learn anything about what I was going through in an attempt to make me come back. Unfortunately, by this time our relationship in my eyes had broken down so far that I refused to go to counseling with him, and just wanted a divorce and to be done with it. Mind you I grew up in a very strict catholic home and divorce is a sin and very much against my personal beliefs. We have been divorced now for almost 2 years and have been able to form a friendship with each other, which is good I think but still I regret that I let things get as bad as they did as I believe now that my marriage could of been saved.
You are doing the right thing by getting into a counselor, perhaps when you go ask if they can suggest a psychiatrist that you can see. Psychiatrists can prescribe antidepressants and monitor them and the dosing while you are in therapy with the counselor, also they are most current on the best treatments. This way you wont have to worry about going through your family doctor for it. Then you may want to consider having your husband join you in your therapy sessions. Fact is that someone who is not dealing with a chronic illness as you are is not going to understand it, he needs to learn how to become more sympathetic to your feelings and needs. I dont know what to say about your father except that I would recommend that if he does spend time with your children you may want to sit down with him and tell him that you wont tolerate him taking negatively about you to them. That is not exceptable and he as a grandparent should not be exposing your children to this. Especially if he wants to continue to have a relationship with them and you.
I didnt intend to write a book here and ramble on....Please do keep posting. Take care
rj
Are your children old enough to understand crohns? I would be open and honest with them about it and to heck with what grandpa says (he wasn't thinking when he said that).
I am thinking about trying Imuran. I was getting pretty sick but the past couple of weeks have been slightly better so I'm putting off starting immune supressants. I would see a general (internal med) doctor for the strep throat. I hope you are feeling better soon.
As a fellow crohnie, I can relate to much of what you have said. Getting into talk therapy was the best thing for me. Anti-d meds alone did not quite cut it. It takes time, alot of hard work on your part, and faith but it does get better. I am testimony of that. First and foremost I would remind you that this disease is not your fault and part of the hard work I refer to is reprogramming so you no longer feel like a victim to this disease. It can be done, as I told you earlier, I am proof of that. Sure, there are still bad days, but they are only that, just one bad day. I might have several bad days in a row, but I work hard at not defining who I am or how I feel by these brief periods of time. Again, it is hard work on my part to do so. While I can never say I have walked where you have walked, I can tell you that I am in the process of divorce after 22 yrs of marriage. Another casualty of this disease. Even though there is a raging storm in my lifee right now, I am facing it calmly and feel peace knowing and accepting only my role and responsibilities in my failed marriage. It is too easy to pick up the garbage everyone else throws at us such as your father did you. I still find myself doing so, and when I do, I make a concentrated effort to tell myself that it is their issue, not mine, and try to let it go. I wasn't very good at it at first, but have gotten better as time has gone on. It really is about me taking control of my perspective on life, and not giving over the power of my emotions to someone else. I choose to act rather than react to circumstances around me. Please don't feel as if I am preaching. I am only letting you know what has worked for me and hope that in some small way it can help you.
Please allow HealingWell to continue helping others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/
Dx'd with Crohn's at age 12. Symptoms since age 5.
Learning to live with this Disease rather than be its victim after 40 years.
When I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and having to go through all the doctor appointments my husband never went with me. I was admitted on two occassions to the hospital 35 miles away from where we live to get Sol-Medrol Infusions, was in the hosp for 5 days each time and neither time did he come to visit me
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els, I can't beleave your husbend would do such a thing, that is insane......
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My depression was at an all time high and if I didnt leave I feared I would harm myself. Only then did he try to make an effort to learn anything about what I was going through in an attempt to make me come back. Unfortunately, by this time our relationship in my eyes had broken down so far that I refused to go to counseling with him, and just wanted a divorce and to be done with it..
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els, good job on the divorce, i hope you can get over it and move on with life.
To be or not to Be
Post Edited (Akram) : 6/8/2006 7:47:28 AM (GMT-6)
So sorry it's taken so long for my reply! Glad to hear you are on the meds ... it does take awhile for them to kick in. Hopefully, you'll feel better emotionally soon.
As for the strep, I'm concerned that you aren't being seen/treated for that (given the considerations that the Imuran pose as well); I suspect you do have a PCP? I would push for care, perhaps the staff is not understanding all of the details when you phone in and explain; I have that problem often, the staff is not very familiar with various conditions/situations of the patients and you really have to spell it out for them. It seems they would consider taking you off of the Imuran temporarily, and/or using something else until this is resolved. I'm hoping that by today, you have been seen or this has been addressed by your doctors.
Yes, the chronic pain is plenty enough to be depressed about! Hopefully the meds will help with that when they get into your system ... and I hope they are beginning to take effect by today. Some take longer than others; from days to several weeks (typically up to six weeks).
I'm very happy to hear that things have worked out with your spouse/family, that means a lot. I have blown up at times as well, luckily hubby knows it's only because I'm at my wits end and is not about him at all. Glad you have that all-important support as well. Take care and keep posting.
(((Hugs)))
: )
~ Cindy
One more thing, the information in this link has proven helpful to multitudes of individuals and their families:
http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=452747
I composed this Summary for myself based on the workbook; you will find the information in a post that follows on the workbook itself. It helped me tremendously, so I composed that Summary to have on hand after completing the book. There are excellent evaluation tools, self-help & relaxation techniques, cognitive training, challenging your thoughts, etc., etc. It goes on and on. There is nobody, not even so-called "normal" people that would not benefit by this.
Best of luck to you!!
: )
~ Cindy
I do know the "just take you'r meds. and you'll be o.k. thing" My husband is having a hard time not just dealing with me but All the added stresses in life that I used to take care of. He's having to pull double dutey I guess you could say.
Finding a way to deal with this proving not so hard at least today. I light candles. MY husband Jokes that he can tell how my day has gone by counting the amount of lit candles. Sounds crazy right? But it sooths me for some reason.
thank you again
rj
I am in my 50s. Crohn's Disease (since childhood), pancreatitis, diabetes, neuropathy, arthritis, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, asthma, Rosecea. I have had 4 surgeries including pancreas/sphincterplasty, duodenum, resection, proctectomy with sigmoid colonectomy. I have a permanent colostomy.___________________ ____________________
You are right the drug immuran Subpresses the immune system. Getting strep like that right after surgery is a whammie. I am still some what down because of it. They did say it just takes me a little longer to heal than most. One big problem right now is that I am still on the antibiotic and it's causing flare like symptoms. My GI is not going to say I am in a flare till the med is finished. My blood work is coming back great.!
I have a lot of anxiety just being on this drug. But the welbutron and the remmeron[sp] is trying to help. The biggest help I get from the ativan and the nausua meds..
I have a bad reaction to like morphine for instance and can't take coydiene anymore makes me itcy, anxieous, and I can't sleep. So I have pain meds and can't use them. I have not said anything cause I hate asking. Won't till it's real bad.
No doctor wants me in there office except the GI I have.I get the feeling that they are all afraid of me. I asked the GI this and he laughed and said probably so. There is just so many different things this diaese can attack depending on the day.
My husband goes to every Appt. [I know I am very lucky in that] My quiet way of getting what I want I find that Docs. have an easier time talking to me if it's through him. HA HA! My joke on them yep! but it works!
I know you'r right about my dad but he's a touchy one. He is one of those people that doesn't know how to handel their feelings so they end up taking it out on a loved one [usually the one thats causing his frustration] An example is a hunting dog he owned and loved with all his heaart. But when she began getting old and it was only a matter of time [and my father couldn't control the sistuation] He turned on her and was mean as apposed to being caring. To this day he can either get misty or mad at the mention of her name. I know he loves me but I'm feeling a little like that dog when I am around him. She was still loyal till then no matter what so will I be I just don't like him very much right now!
Hope to see you on the crohn's board
Cindy thanks for the link.
rj
Most people who suffer chronic pain will inherit some depression as well. It is almost like a side effect! Anyway, it is understandable. Have you spoken to your GI about this and how it is affecting your life? Even with the Welbutron, it is still affecting you? I wonder if a change in medication would help, or perhaps you have already done this. I always thought that antibiotics helps a flare as it is keeping in check whatever infection might be causing inflamation in the digestive tract. Are you taking meds (like 5 ASA type) to keep the inflamation down? It seems to help me. I get the feeling that they did not work on you and that is why you are on Immuron.
Remember, at this point, you need to take care of you and find/get what you need to stay well. That is so important.
I am so glad that your husband goes to appointments with you! Something will sink in. Maybe it already has but he doesn't know how to express it. Your father is a different story. I picture this, the next time he gives you a hard time about your sickness, give him a big hug and say, "I love yu, Daddy!" and see what he does. I don't know if this would work or not. I know if it was me, and my daughter threw her arms around me and said, "I love you, Mommy." my heart would melt. I guess that would be the same as the wag of the tail!
Anyway, I will see you on the Crohn's forum! Or maybe here!
God bless and stay well,
Madelyn
I am in my 50s. Crohn's Disease (since childhood), pancreatitis, diabetes, neuropathy, arthritis, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, asthma, Rosecea. I have had 4 surgeries including pancreas/sphincterplasty, duodenum, resection, proctectomy with sigmoid colonectomy. I have a permanent colostomy.___________________ ____________________