Oh Krista,
I'm so glad you posted. Yes . . . the sunny weather and longer days ARE helpful. I'm glad that you found good counseling and group therapy. I hope that between the higher dose of med, some time for it to work, and the therapy, that you'll be feeling like yourself again soon.
Keep us posted. We really do care!!
If you find something especially meaningful in therepy . . . we'd love it if you would post . . . it might be helpful to lots of us. Thanks.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
I have no medical training.
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you. You are now my friend. Thanks for being here.
Krista,
I have been reading the posts from your strands and this group is so wise. I hope your medication continues to work... Sometimes my medication works a couple of months than out of no where I will have an episode. It get so frusturating that I want to just scream.
I wish that we both find that place of peace of mind. I have had mild depression on and off my whole life until three years ago when I have had some very severe depressive episodes. I have been in therapy and taking medications(many different combos) since. I feel like I am on the road to recovery, its just sometimes it can seem so long.
Hope you are doing well.
I am new to the depression thing. I feel kind of panicky when I have to be away from my home because of the hell Ive been through with Crohns and I have a constant fear that everything will come back. Before I had my surgery I thought I was dealing with everything pretty well, but afterwards I found myself crying at the weirdest things. Ive only cried a few times in my adult life before and it was usually when I knew I was going to be away from my fiance (now my wife) for months while I went out to sea.
I have cried during a few movies, most were not really sad movies either... and I cried when I watched a football game, because I know I will not be able to do that again in my life. I go to the gym again to try and keep healthy but every time I go I end up running to the restroom... very frustrating.
Anyways, I am waiting for the meds to kick in and trying to keep a positive outlook on things, it is really hard sometimes and I find it hard to concentrate. I hope everyone else out there is doing the same and trying to keep their head up. It is tough.
I have cried during a few movies, most were not really sad movies either... and I cried when I watched a football game, because I know I will not be able to do that again in my life. I go to the gym again to try and keep healthy but every time I go I end up running to the restroom... very frustrating.
Anyways, I am waiting for the meds to kick in and trying to keep a positive outlook on things, it is really hard sometimes and I find it hard to concentrate. I hope everyone else out there is doing the same and trying to keep their head up. It is tough.
"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid"
Gen. Eisenhower
Hello D-Rule,
Thanks for expressing all of that sooo well. With chronic illness, we have to go through the stages of grieving, just as though someone died. Fact is, our old self HAS died. We go through denial, blame, anger, and acceptance . . . you are describing your grieving process. You need to allow yourself to feel all of these feelings and then move on to acceptance. You WILL find a NEW you!! I have found some activities that I am really enjoying. . . but it takes time to adjust and initially you aren't really sure where you ultimately will fit in as far as physical ability. I still try to stretch my physical abilities, but am much more accepting of what I can't do anymore.
Oh . . . and having guys posting on this board is so great!!! Because I think it is even harder for a man to accept this type of loss.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
Thanks for expressing all of that sooo well. With chronic illness, we have to go through the stages of grieving, just as though someone died. Fact is, our old self HAS died. We go through denial, blame, anger, and acceptance . . . you are describing your grieving process. You need to allow yourself to feel all of these feelings and then move on to acceptance. You WILL find a NEW you!! I have found some activities that I am really enjoying. . . but it takes time to adjust and initially you aren't really sure where you ultimately will fit in as far as physical ability. I still try to stretch my physical abilities, but am much more accepting of what I can't do anymore.
Oh . . . and having guys posting on this board is so great!!! Because I think it is even harder for a man to accept this type of loss.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
I have no medical training.
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you. You are now my friend. Thanks for being here.
I agree with you Rosie. Trying to find the new you can be challenging because there are parts that you long to have again but sometimes like being more active is a much harder than it used to be. Sometimes the more I know about myself and the false beliefs that I have lived with in my life the more I go through all of those emotions. Anyone who has this belief that therapy is for the weak is so wrong. Being in therapy is the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. I know there will be a pay off I just got to keep hanging in there. That can be challenging when I am in the midst of an episode.
Meanwhile it is one step in front of the other. Holding on to that belief that this will get better.
Do you think that you have found the new you? My therapist is always reminding me to accept my limitations.
Yes, Cloudy . . . I think I have found the new me. It is still a project in the making, but I had a very hard time accepting that I would have to give up backpacking. It was a super motivation for exercise for me. There may come a day when I can do it again, but for now I am limited to about 1/3 mile with no pack. I do, however, plan to set some goals and try to work up to it. What I have finally accepted is that I may never get to the point where I can be so physical again. I am 52 years old and I had planned to try the Appalation trail when I retired. I did get as far as 11 miles a day with a 35 lb pack and sleeping in a tent on the ground . . . I LOVED IT!!
Now I have found some quiet activities out of the sun (I have an autoimmune disease where my antibodies attack me as well as attacking germs - the sun and physical activity can activate your immune system so I get sick when I spend time in the sun or get too active)
That's right Cloudy . . . one step at a time is the only way to accomplish any goal! and therepy is HARD work. One of the best things about aging is that I care less and less what other people think. I do what I need to do to make my life work. . . . if other people think I am lazy or faking . . . that is their problem. I'm just blessed, lucky, and happy that my husband is understanding.
This forum is very helpful for me too.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
Now I have found some quiet activities out of the sun (I have an autoimmune disease where my antibodies attack me as well as attacking germs - the sun and physical activity can activate your immune system so I get sick when I spend time in the sun or get too active)
That's right Cloudy . . . one step at a time is the only way to accomplish any goal! and therepy is HARD work. One of the best things about aging is that I care less and less what other people think. I do what I need to do to make my life work. . . . if other people think I am lazy or faking . . . that is their problem. I'm just blessed, lucky, and happy that my husband is understanding.
This forum is very helpful for me too.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
I have no medical training.
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you. You are now my friend. Thanks for being here.
Honestly,
I think I am still in denial. Is fighting it with every fibre of your being denial? Well, that is me. Even during the most painful flare ups I was still going to work until I was hospitalized and I would still go to the gym and try and get a workout in, even if it was torture.
I know my limitations but I refuse to accept it. I think that is the hardest thign for me because I keep letting this defeat me, but I can't stop trying. My most depressed moments are when I flat out have no energy and have no fight left in me. I hate having the weight gain from the prednisone. It bothered me so much I felt like tearing my own skin off- that is how it feels sometimes anyways, this frustration that I am disgusted with my body. If I didnt have my wife supporting me, I think I would have self destructed by now.
Thanks for listening to my ranting. I did manage to force in a workout today- didnt do anything else all day, but I did work out. I makes me feel a little better. I think the prozac gives me a little extra energy- makes me kinda twitchy.
I think I am still in denial. Is fighting it with every fibre of your being denial? Well, that is me. Even during the most painful flare ups I was still going to work until I was hospitalized and I would still go to the gym and try and get a workout in, even if it was torture.
I know my limitations but I refuse to accept it. I think that is the hardest thign for me because I keep letting this defeat me, but I can't stop trying. My most depressed moments are when I flat out have no energy and have no fight left in me. I hate having the weight gain from the prednisone. It bothered me so much I felt like tearing my own skin off- that is how it feels sometimes anyways, this frustration that I am disgusted with my body. If I didnt have my wife supporting me, I think I would have self destructed by now.
Thanks for listening to my ranting. I did manage to force in a workout today- didnt do anything else all day, but I did work out. I makes me feel a little better. I think the prozac gives me a little extra energy- makes me kinda twitchy.
"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid"
Gen. Eisenhower
Hello D-Rule,
I think I remember you saying that you have Chrons Disease. Is Chrons an autoimmune disease???? Because if it is and you are overdoing emotionally or physically, you could be triggering a worse flare. I have an autoimmune disease and when i push too hard, I pay for days after. Doc confirmed it when I talked to him . . . he said that the extra activity turns on your immune system and in someone who has auto-immune probs, that is not a good thing.
Does that make any sense to you??? In Lupus Forum, we always say, "pace yourself" as needed. Well, I used to push, push, push and it DOES make you sick. Maybe you need to give yourself permission to heal and then gradually add in the workouts???
In His Grip,
I think I remember you saying that you have Chrons Disease. Is Chrons an autoimmune disease???? Because if it is and you are overdoing emotionally or physically, you could be triggering a worse flare. I have an autoimmune disease and when i push too hard, I pay for days after. Doc confirmed it when I talked to him . . . he said that the extra activity turns on your immune system and in someone who has auto-immune probs, that is not a good thing.
Does that make any sense to you??? In Lupus Forum, we always say, "pace yourself" as needed. Well, I used to push, push, push and it DOES make you sick. Maybe you need to give yourself permission to heal and then gradually add in the workouts???
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
I have no medical training.
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you. You are now my friend. Thanks for being here.
Hey Rosie,
That may be good advice. My doctor said I can do whatever activity I felt up to doing. He has only put restrictions on me when I am first out of a hospitalization. He will tell me I need light duty and no lifting/jogging along with some other things.
I know I should go easier on myself. I should listen to my own thoughts, but I would rather get myself in shape again and then take a rest. maybe not the guy I used to be, but within 15lbs anyways would be nice. Not to mention better for my health and stamina.
That may be good advice. My doctor said I can do whatever activity I felt up to doing. He has only put restrictions on me when I am first out of a hospitalization. He will tell me I need light duty and no lifting/jogging along with some other things.
I know I should go easier on myself. I should listen to my own thoughts, but I would rather get myself in shape again and then take a rest. maybe not the guy I used to be, but within 15lbs anyways would be nice. Not to mention better for my health and stamina.
"History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid"
Gen. Eisenhower
Rosie,
Thank you for your response
I think that accepting limitations can be difficult especially if you have been trying to please people in your life or trying to get approval for a long time. I have done that for a long time and have paid the price of that. I am learning (very slowly) that I don't need to do that to be cared for but I think I must be crazy because that thought never crossed my mind until now in my 30's. I am what you would call a very late bloomer who has made some incredibly stupid decisions that I need to learn to let go.
I do hope that I will get to where you are Rosie. I'm a little insecure about even hoping for that but I want to live with truth. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Cloudy . . . I have found myself pretending to be what I want to be. Sometimes it works! If I practice new coping skills by pretending, it eventually becomes a habit. I am a people pleaser as well. But when I learned to set boundaries for how much I could give . . . people respected that and it became easier to say no when I needed to.
D-Rule . . . I do hope that works for you! It took a long time for me to allow myself time for physical healing.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
D-Rule . . . I do hope that works for you! It took a long time for me to allow myself time for physical healing.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
I have no medical training.
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you. You are now my friend. Thanks for being here.