Change of some kind

Diseases & Conditions Bipolar Disorder
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 Hello to all my friends out there in Bp world. Today started out ok, came to here as I do everyday to help see about my mood change. Unfortunately when I visited my doc, he told me to increase my wellbutrin for anxiety. Hmmmm...I found that strange. Topamax and wellbutrin is suppose to work for my anxiety. You have got to be kidding. Increasing would cause me to become manic. Like I need that , esp. this week. With school, and my daughter, and well a few other disruptions, I think he is not right. That would take me to 300 mg of wellbutrin and 200 of my topamax. I can see why it is so troubling managing to get this stable thing to happen, when you constantly are increas. or decreas. your meds. I cycle at least 5-10 a day, depends on my day. When I have to perform a assistance with a surgeon, will I be able to handle all this. 6-12 hrs a day standing on my feet , making sure there is no disruption in my thought process..... geez just thinking about that is stressful. I know I can do it, i't's just days like these, when I hate the world, that suck so bad. I will be fine , in like a minue, you know how that is, well some of you . Anyways thanks for listening. Talk later, my dishes are screaaming for me to clean them.  
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YOu are very wise, you OLD owl!   Upping the welbutrin is asking for it. 

You did promise to get a pdoc, right???? yeah    You know rapid cyclers are the very hardest to treat, and never get fully stable for very long, but you can still get the right combo and be soooooo much better.  Sandy and I are both with ya, it's no picnic.   

YOu posted a little more than three hours ago, how are you now?

 

Variety is the spice of life, BP is the key

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Hey Shannon, sorry about your sis ' experience this am. I do feel better, I have had entirely too much stress and it takes a toll on me physically as it does mentally. I feel worn out , like I could sleep for days. Yeah rapid cycling sucks, I think it wears me out more than anything. I put alot of energy into something and pay for it later. I feel bad for my mom , which you know is my best friend, because I fell lik I am bothering her. She does undertsand more now , but she always say Nickie I can't een imagine what you're experiencing , but you are absolutely no bother. I used to get mad at her all the time, saying stuff like why me, and why did dad give me his bad gene? She would never ever get mad, and say yeah but I gave you you'rs intelligence gene. LOL Glad for that, otherwise I would be stuck doing something that pays like crap, and dependent upon others. Kinda like now, well I have no choice right now though due to school.

Hey Sandy I am glad you are feeling well, send some my way.I really need to get outta this slump I ma in, it does me no good. I do feel less aggression right now and a little on the softer side. I want to feeel like I did not too long ago, almost passive , like things cold fall right in front of my face, and I wouldn't jump. I try to figure out why it was working before and what it is now. When I am at college, I feel the best, it's fun to me ( well the surg .classes), i am learning, and I just get it. I am smart and a perfectionist, so I try really hard and I want to learn it all. Then I get home , and that's when it becomes overwhelming. My home life is much harder to keep up. Whoa.... Anyways , wishing i felt like you right now.

So I will write later, I know most our busy, it's the weekend, family time. So no need to respond to my blabbering till Monday. Bye Friends, Nickie MHC