Emotions-Another lump?-Dr's Reaction

Diseases & Conditions Breast Cancer
1
  
I  I just cannot shake the feeling and fear over the situation.  I know it isn't healthy to think like this. 
I am just am afraid to think about it, it has always been such a great fear of mine,  my Mom died of breast cancer. My sister had it and is 10 years is healthy today.
 
  I for some reason never thought I would get cancer, I don't know why, then last Dec. I found that I did indeed have Cancer. They removed my right breast, said cancer had not infrilltrated lymph nodes. It is ductal, it is hormone responsive.  I am on Arimidex.
 
 I never recovered emotionally from the situation. It is unlike any emotion I have ever had.
 
 I had a mammogram and ultrasound this Nov.  They found an enlarged lymph node,within the left breast.  the radiologist took a long hard look at it, then said, it SEEMED ok to him. That lymph nodes get enlarged for a variety of reasons, he saw no calcifications or sign of tumor.  They would look at again in six months.  Said I don't think you have anything to worry about. I was so thrilled to hear that.
 
  I guess I lack confidence in my oncologist. When I went for my vist following the Ultrasound,  she asked if I'd seen my surgeon yet?   The statement floored me!  I said then it isn't ok, she said well we will see in another six months.
 That is a long time.  If it isn't ok, I will not be ok either.  Shouldn't she be making decisions, and not asking if I have seen surgeon yet.  I hoped I was finished with him, not my general physician, nor my oncologist.
 
 She just never seems to really look at you, when she talks. That bothers me. It is probably her mannerism but she seems to be evasive.  
 
  
Sorry to go on, with the Arimidex, which affects your hormones you weep at the most awkward times.  I just need to dump my feelings. I feel like I have this dark being inside me.
 
 I have a wonderful family, and especially my supportive loving hubby of 45 years.  I am blessed.  To sum it all up with this whole situation, I have felt alone, even though I am not.  I am loved, I know that.  I am just not able to shake that fear or feeling.  Am I just over reacting here? Any help or suggestions would really be appreciated.
Be Well, God Bless, Keep Smiling.  yeah
reenee

Post Edited By Moderator (gma) : 11/30/2005 8:18:21 AM (GMT-7)

2

Reenee,

First, if you lack confidence in any doctor, please find a new doctor that you are comfortable with. 

As for the fear I think it is normal.  We all go through times of irrational fear, especially when we have a test that is not positively negative or without questions.  In September I had a mammo done that showed heavy microcalcifications.  My surgeon wanted me to have a biopsy done.  The radiologist cancelled the biobsy because there is no cluster for him to biopsy.  So I was instructed to wait six months and have another mammo.  I was, in some ways, very fearful even with my DH at my side.  But it all turned out OK and my fear has subsided. 

So either make that doctor look you in the eye and help you or find one that will.

God Bless you and Good Luck.

Candy

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
 

3
First I made a title for you because it seems when it says "No Subject" people don't tend to react so well and I think you need lots of reaction.

This is a time I wish I could use all those symbols above the number keys. You had breast cancer diagnosed last fall, had a mastectomy and this fall when a lump is found in your other breast the doctor decides to play God and pronounce you cured? A second doctor says ok we will wait six months. What in the world is wrong with these people? Why would anyone wait and not do a biopsy. Oh my blood pressure is soaring................... You need this thing out of your breast. And if I were you and already had one mastectomy I would seriously think of another one to prevent any lump from showing up again next year even if this one is benign. But that is only my humble opinion.

Of course your emotions are running wild. Just from last year's activities it is not unusual to be emotional. And now this and doctor's with a terrible attitude. Where are you? Can you find another doctor or two who would be a little more proactive in your care? You need many hugs after the treatment they have given you.

Here are some (((())))) for a start, MK


4
Reenee

Please Get a new Dr that you are comfortable with or go back and tell this Dr that you want a biopsy done right away. There is no need for you to wait for 6 months and be a nervous wreck in the mean time. A second opinion would be great too. I personally would not wait if there was something questionable in there. I was mis diagnosed 2 years ago and it cost me alot of pain and suffering not to mention the stress. I dont know where you live but go online and check out some of the other Drs, or ask around for refferals. I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted.......we care.

Hugs:)
Bernadette

5
Reenee, ditto, ditto, ditto to everything above.

Just a thought...let's suppose that you ARE willing to wait 6 mos. Then 6 mos from now there is another BC dx. Who do you think will suffer the most? Certainly not the radiologist who thought that everything SEEMED OK; neither will your onc. if she remains your dr. It will be YOU, my friend, and all of those who love and care so deeply for you who will bear the burden.

IMHO, it's time to get on the phone and tell your drs. (rad, breast surgeon, onc., whoever will listen) that you want a biopsy ASAP. After this past year you deserve peace of mind. I promise you that your drs. are not losing sleep over this. You need to be your own advocate. Be very specific about what you want, why you want it done and the time factor. Hopefully, the drs. will pay attention and you'll get exactly what you want. If not, it's time to find a new team, one that is more in sync. with YOUR wishes and welfare. Hugs from here, Luci

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me lay an invincible summer.  Albert Camus

6

Hello Renee! First, I am very glad that you found us and posted your feelings. Please be assured that you are NOT alone in how you feel. Ok, now I have to say that I agree w/ everything that has been said by everyone else. First, remember that your onco, surgeon, radiologist, etc are YOUR employees. YOU are paying their salary! They are NOT paying YOU. Would you allow an employee to treat you the way that your medical team is treating you. I don't think so. GET ANOTHER OPINION! I don't believe that is it was their wife, dd, sister, mother or themself that they would want to wait 6 mos. Especially after what you have been thru this past year. If you don't feel comfortable calling your onco and asking for your records to be sent to another onco, then just get the med release, sign it and be done! Please, please, please don't wait 6 months. And don't let them tell you that they have no appts because of the holidays. That is BS! Be your own advocate.

Cry when you feel like crying. Yell, scream, laugh. Whatever it takes. My family never knows what my mood is going to be. We have all been thru this upheaval of emotions.

Where do you live? Please let us know. We are spread out all over the US so hopefully there will be one of us near you.

Take charge woman!

 Lots of hugs...Deb

 

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Renee, I too agree with all of the above. PLEASE don't wait 6 months. I was always intimidated by Drs, but not anymore! I learned with having this disease and being on this board (thank you ladies) that you really do have to be your own advocate.
Please know we are all here for you and want the BEST for you.
L&H, Gail

 
"Inside this body lies that of a skinny lady.  But I can usually shut her up with chocolate.".

8
Thanks for all the kind replies. Would it be possible radiologist was able to tell, and then say sometimes lymph nodes enlarge and there is no problem. He spent a very long time looking for other signs and symptoms?

Is there a blood test to tell if a person has cancer?
Can they biopsy a node?
I really am tossing idea of just getting breast off, no simple decision.

I have had one mastectomy, know what it involves. Regretting not having it done when I had last surgery. I know I do not have the type of cancer that mirrors itself in other breast.
One of the dr.s mentioned a P E T SCAN However that was never mentioned again.

Does the surgeon or the oncologist usually call the shots with treatment.

Thanks all for your suggestions love and concern

reenee
9

Hey Reenee! Take a deep breath. I know how all of these thoughts are racing around in your head but you need to "try" to relax so that you can make your decisions. In my personal case, my entire med team works as one..my onco, surgeon and MD and manipulative therapist. They each send notes to each other when I see one of them. So when it comes to decisions as to my treatment, they are all involved. Although, I have the final say. The problem that I see that you have right now is that you don't trust your onco. That is why we have suggested that you seek a 2nd opinion from another oncologist. Take a list of questions that you have and need answers to. If the new onco doesn't seem to care then go to a 3rd and 4th...find one that you trust. When my father was diagnosed w/ lung cancer, I spoke w/ Richard Bloch (H & R Block). He told me that you need to find an onco that feels that he can help you. If you don't have a good feeling after interviewing one, then go on to the next and the next. Until you find that one that has a positive outlook about your particular case. I didn't forget that when I was diagnosed.

Hugs...Deb 

 

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Renee, you are entitled to copies of any reports for tests you have had done. Request them and read them, if you don't understand someone here will be happy to help interpret them for you. Then you will know what kind of cancer was found, the staging of it and a lot of information that is important. I am not even sure how a lymph node can be determined to be enlarged in a breast. How can they be sure it is a lymph node and not another lump? I am not a doctor but I sure would not want to play guessing games with my health or anyone elses and it seems to me when the doctor's make these statements that something "seems" ok they are guessing because they don't say "for sure". Hugs of concern, MK


11
What the tech said was that the picture had changed since last mammogram.  THe radiologist was called to read and evaluate.  He said there was a change in size of node, from last year.  I would think there is a difference in nodes and lumps in their shape.  He said node was slightly larger than last time. He checked it for a long time and said, they would keep an eye on it, and evaluate in another six months.   
 
 I had ductal cancer in the right breast.  It was invasive (involving whole breast) there was one lump small, but many calcifications.  They removed part of the breast,   because outer fringes of surgery were still showing signs of cancer, they elected to go in again and remove entire breast.  Their final lab result said no lymph node involvement.   It was stage -2   meaning not quite 2.  The cancer was hormone receptive, as was my sisters.   I had taken hormones about 2 months out of my life, after menopause, they did not agree with me.  I did take b.c. pills for about 6 months they did not agree with me. 
 
They did not feel a need for chemo, or radiation.
 
 I am on arimidex. 
 
Thanks all, I appreciate your love and concern.
Best to all, Be well.
reenee
12
Reenee: If you feel comfortable w/ what the rad tech says and feel that you can wait for 6 months, then do so. I personally would not wait. I don't understand what he is referring to when he says a node was enlarged from the last mammo. That would definitely give me cause for worry. I am fortunate that my onco and surgeon are overly protective when it comes to any little difference from one test to the next. Have you decided whether or not you are going to seek another opinion?
 
Deb
 
 

 

13
Yes I am going to seek another opinion, I have an opinion with our Dr. on Monday. They are faxing all paperwork to him. We are going to have him look at all reports and follow his instructions, or advice. Hoping it will be news that will bring some relief. I know the mammogram done the previouos year showed slight enlargement in node from previous reading.

Be Well

Reenee
14
Reenee: I am glad that you have an appt on Mon. Is it w/ another onoc? If your onco and surgeon's office are close, you might want to go and get copies of the reports to carry to the dr. Many times entire reports are not faxed. Always wise to keep a "hard copy" for yourself.
 
Deb

 

15
Hi no it is not another onoc. This is our medical dr. very good, always seems to be able to sit down and listen. That is important to me. I have some hard copies from mastectomy. I will take with us.
I am so emotional over this situation. Have a very hard time talking about it. I think Arimidex has something to do with that, depleting my hormones, making a mess out of me emotionally. I have never been such a basket case of tears. I am also going to talk to him about that.
I have a wonderful husband. Very supportive. However he doesn't know how to handle the emotional part of me, makes him feel very bad when I cry. I try not to do that in front of him. Sometimes my cup runneth over and out of my eyes. :-)

Thanks again all, I will let you know what I find out. Appreciate your love and concern.

reenee
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Reenee: Yes, meds do alter our emotional state. There are times that I will just sit and cry or fly off the handle for no real reason. My family knows to give me lots of space the day I have chemo and the day after. Any little thing will set me off. Your dh sounds great. Why not have him find a support group for "caregivers" (I hate that word but that is the word that is used). These groups are family members that are dealing w/ a loved one that has cancer. He will be able to talk w/ others and find out that he is not alone. He will be able to find the support that he needs. It will in turn help you. Also, there are support groups to help you. You may have to go to a couple of different ones before you find the right group. You can contact your local ACS or the social worker at your onco office or hospital to find these groups. Don't be afraid to let your family see you cry. We all seem to think that this is wrong. Heck, it is just human nature w/ all that we are going thru. How would you feel if you had a friend or family member that was facing a medical problem and cried? I don't think that you would be upset. So, don't be so hard on yourself. Remember, you aren't "Superwoman"! lol

Hang in there. We are all here for you.

Hugs...Deb 

 

17
Hi all went to our MD, he gladly takes time to talk with you, and re-examine your thoughts, as well as read the reports and explain in laymans terms.

He felt for a lump, said he felt nothing remarkable at all. He said you have fibrocystic disease, I knew that.
He read the radiologist report, said Dr. is very thorough and concluded it was a lymphnode just slightly larger than before. He said edges are smooth, and node is in shape that is acceptable for healthy node.
He did say IF I WOULD FEEL BETTER I could get a biopsy. He concluded saying he doesn't feel it is anything at all to be concerned with, there are no signs within the breast of calcifications, lumps or anything.
He said most surgeons see their patients again throughout first couple years some do not, he felt that is why the oncologist said what she had said.
I do feel more at ease, than I did. I still may go in after the holidays and get a biopsy to be sure. I am weighing that now.
Thanks for all your kind help, and nice post.

Be WEll God Bless, Keep smiling. :-)

reenee