I know there is a fibromyalgia section and I have posted there. But I decided to move my thread here because depression is where I'm at right now. I've been depressed since as long as I can remember. Hospitalized a few time and I'm on a ton of meds.
I'm 46 now and was just feeling well again for the first time in years. I had a good job with 18 years seniority and a wonderful husband and three beautiful chldren and everything was coming together. Finally, depression and anxiety were no longer the main focus in my life. Then Jan 5th everything changed. I caught a cold and had extreme fatigue.
The cold went away but the fatigue did not. Everything hurt and I couldnt keep my eyes open during the day or night. I slept more and more until I literally went to bed when I got off work and woke up the next day 30 min before I had to leave. This went on for months until the fatigue started affecting my job. I was calling in sick all the time because I coudlnt get out of bed. I felt so miserable at work I had to leave early. I lost my lead position and became a problem employee but I loved my job so much I kept trying but I kept getting more tired.
I worked until I dropped I had to quit my job in the middle of a shift. I was sobbing and I'm still sobbing. I lost my wonderful ICU job June 12th 2018 and all I do is feel sorry for myself and angry at this turn of events. Angry for losing my job, my pension, my work friends, my life! I'm not even a very good stay at home mother. I'm so tired I've lost interest in all my hobbies. I'm sick of the tv. I have 3 friends and they're busy.
My husband is busy being a work-a-holic which needs to be done since I no longer have an income. I'm not independent anymore. I can't support myself. Hell, I can't even stand long enough to cook for myself. By the time my husband gets home from work at 7pm I'm exhausted, starving and depressed. He's tired of me. Tired of listening to me complain. Tired of me sleeping all the time. Tired of me just sitting on the couch watch tv. I can't do anything else but he latched on to something the doctor said. "You have to retrain your body to be awake so limit your naps and get up and do something." Easier said than done. I have fibrobyalgia. I've been in a flare since january 5th 2018 and all I can do is cry. The medication is not working. Everyone is tired of taking care of me and I don't know what to do. I can't drive the car so I can't leave the house so I'm on this forum because I don't know where else to go, kyyndred
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 7/26/2018 10:04:06 AM (GMT-6)
Welcome to the depression forum. I have fibromyalgia too and I know what you are going through.
I gave your posts paragraphs for easier reading. I hope that you don't mind. Please try to use paragraphs.. Thanks... I am also giving your thread a title, you will get more responses that way.
I can't do much either. But we have to get use to the new us. Take things a little slower. rest more. I have had it since 2002. And honestly I can say it isn't as bad now as it was then. Before I had to hold on to furniture to get around the house. I slept for two years. Now I feel pretty normal. I still have pain and fatigue. I take Adderall for the fatigue and it helps. Maybe you could try that or some Ritalin. They both give you energy.
Be patient with yourself. It is overwhelming in the beginning. We lose a lot, but we eventually gain again. Try not to lose hope.
Hi, Kyyndred! Depression can make you very tired also. My husband died suddenly and I went into a very bad depression. Sleeping was a form of escape for me. I had absolutely no energy or drive either. I made myself get up and do something. I found that I had more energy when I got up and about...but it was slow going at first. I’m fine now and do not have the depression.
Are you on an antidepressant to help with this issue? It might be beneficial,not only for depression but also for fibro. Quite a few members take an antidepressant for fibro and it does help them. Just a thought...
For me, keeping a positive attitude helps a lot. If you go to the fibro forum and go into Fibro 101, there is a link on how to maintain a positive attitude when you have chronic pain. This might help you too with your depression.
I just popped over to give you a little food for thought and let you know you are never alone. We all are here to help one another. Karen is a wonderful depression mod and can help you here and I will help you in the fibro forum too. See...you get two for the price on one on HealingWell! 😂
You take care and have a wonderful evening.
SherrineForum Moderator/Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Diabetes, Osteoporosis, Glaucoma, Scoliosis, Ankylosing Spondylitis ************************ God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
Kyyndred, I truly do understand what you are feeling. I have fibro and a sleep disorder both of which cause me to feel like resting/sleeping most of the day. Especially, if I have really pushed and been busy the day before. It is hard to give up doing some of the things you're used to but remember there are other things you can do. I also have a lot of anxiety and GAD.
First, do little things, then rest. So, get the dust cloth out then rest. Dust a bit, then rest and on an on. This way you're moving a little bit which is good for depression and a bit of exercise for you body.
Keep your mind busy, yes I know that's hard too. I do both an electronic word game and paper puzzles, two different media's. I read so I'm still learning. I love to do fabric crafts but sometimes it could take me 2 months rather than a week. Still, the pride of accomplishment is still there.
I have some friends that have formed a small board and we "chat" back and forth when we feel like it. If none of your friends have time try to find a few "cyber" friends who also have issues. They are 6 of my very best friends and I've never really met them. I've "known" them though for years via computer. Or, post here.
Take charge of both diseases, they may cause you problems but you be the boss.
Have any of your friends read about fibro, especially your hubby? It's truly very hard to understand when you feel this way, harder yet for others to understand.
Have you considered trying to go on medicare? That would help the finances a little bit. Make sure you have a Dr. who is behind it and ask for records and his support in a letter or something.
Keep easy meals handy. I bet your hubby would be happier to come home to an already prepared meal. Lot's of meals in the freezer section of your store if that's all you can manage. When I have a good day, and you will, I try to brown a few lbs of ground meat then freeze it. Nearly instant sloppy joes, or easy spaghetti or... Get prepped foods if you can. Like veggies or fruit that is already cut up. You may eat healthy but if not try too. Keep it simple.
Maybe force yourself to visit a care home an hr or so a week. Or, to the library to volunteer or...Something where you can choose your own time. Tell yourself; "You might make me tired but you can't shut my mouth."(volunteering) or "You might keep me in bed but you can't make me just lay there."
Who knows, there might be something even better for you just around the corner. I know I'm a kinder more thoughtful person because of all of my health issues.
Lastly, if you haven't seen your Dr. and discussed this it's a good idea to do so.
Wishing you a healthy and happy life.What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise.
Laura Short
"Blessings"
FM/CFS, BP, gastritis, diverticulitis, anxiety/PTSD, adult ADD, hypothyroid, brain lesions, sleep apnea that doesn't respond to a c-pap as far as sleepiness/fatigue goes, insomnia and only sleep in stages 1 and 2 and REM with a tiny bit in 3 and 4.
Kyyndred, as you can see we can relate to what you are saying and going through. I am going to throw something out here that I suspect you are probably going through. You are grieving, people often relate grief with death only. Well, grief often happens to people that have debilitating medical issues that completely changes their life in every aspect.
When the rug gets pulled out from under us like this we grieve for our old life. The loss of my job that I loved, loss of income, worrying about the financial impact long term, health completely tanked to the point of being told to take a medical retirement at a young age by one of my specialists. I was everything you described here & then some. I was also in denial on many things. Oh yes, friends, I found out who were truly my friends.
One day everything came to a head so to speak. I ended up at my pcp's office in a complete mess. My boss had to drive me there. He took one look at me & said I am putting you on medication with the condition that you make an appt to see this psychologist. He had treated me many years & was much aware of my health issues. Rather reluctantly I made the appt, I was one of these that always thought she could handle anything & be in control, lol. The woman probably saved my life. She was the one that clued me in on grief & life changing medical issues.
It took a long time for me to get past the grieving process, learn to accept & make a new life for myself. It was like peeling an onion, one layer at a time. It is very much doable, but right now you can't see it.
Take care.Susie Moderator in Chronic Pain & Psoriasis Forums