I am new at this depression bit too. My husband and I have been married for 28 years. I have had what seems like a life time of ups and downs in our relationship. I am an extremely tolerate person otherwise I would have hit the trail long ago and of course I love my husband. My husband's moods can slowly decline from absolutely wonderful to bed rest for days. He has diabetes 2, takes blood pressure pills, and cholesterol. He works for himself in home renovations which means money can be feast of famine. I have been in the same job for 25 years and am the constant. A lot of pressure and stress lands in my lap. I try and pull him out of his depression which years ago he would be in bed for well over a week. We have dealt with lots of issues over the years with positive results just talking things out and he has smaller bouts of depression but I am finding the last couple of years his depression is getting much worse. He says he is not depressed, that nothing is wrong, he wants to cancel Christmas, he pushes me away...sounds like depression to me. We don't have children, I wasn't able to have any and hubby was married prior and has a grown son who we hardly see who lives out of the country, I don't know if life is easier for us or not because we don't have the added stress of children but sometimes I thank my lucky stars not to have to deal with children and my husband. I am constantly worried about money because he is and isn't working. He is fifteen years older than myself and I feel like I am wasting my life away and am resenting him and am reaching my threshold. I want to help him and I've tried to get him to talk to the doctor about it and one time he did come home with some samples from his doctor, they were some sort of anti-depression pill...I was thrilled, proud and surprised he actually said something to his doctor. But he only took them for three days or so which was is worthless. His mother and brother suffer from depression, his mother mostly has depression in the Spring and Fall...his brother takes medication all the time and had talked to my husband about it but my husband said his brother's wife likes to control him and now can now that he is medicated. His brother's wife said she is thankful for having her husband back and has never been happier with him. I'm jealous and am at wits end. My husband can be jealous of everything, feels like his life is worthless, can't seems to appreciate his surroundings, can wake up angry and the list goes on. Does anyone have any advice as to HOW to get a person to get help. I phoned one time to speak to his doctor and of course they won't talk to you, I just wanted his doctor to listen and that he didn't need to comment but apparently they don't do that either. Sorry for my rant being so long. Thanks for reading/listening.
DGM,
so sorry you feel so helpless. This happens sometimes in relationships when one does not want to get help.
Perhaps if you found a therapist for yourself to talk to, this helps sometimes. You learn how to communicate a little better and you can stand stronger in the relationship.
However, if the other person does not want help, there is no forcing it, the get help when they are ready.
Know we are here to listen and support you the best we can.
Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression
Be still and know there is Peace.
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
so sorry you feel so helpless. This happens sometimes in relationships when one does not want to get help.
Perhaps if you found a therapist for yourself to talk to, this helps sometimes. You learn how to communicate a little better and you can stand stronger in the relationship.
However, if the other person does not want help, there is no forcing it, the get help when they are ready.
Know we are here to listen and support you the best we can.
Peace
Trina
Moderator - Depression
Be still and know there is Peace.
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
Hi there,
Welcome to the depression forum. I am sorry for your situation. It is difficult when our partners are suffering from depression and it takes a toll on us.
Have you talked to him about starting counseling? Does he take medication? Both of these things can really help. I think this should be up for discussion.
It might help if you were to talk to a counselor too. They can help you cope through these events.
I hope that things get better soon. Take care and keep posting.
Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
Welcome to the depression forum. I am sorry for your situation. It is difficult when our partners are suffering from depression and it takes a toll on us.
Have you talked to him about starting counseling? Does he take medication? Both of these things can really help. I think this should be up for discussion.
It might help if you were to talk to a counselor too. They can help you cope through these events.
I hope that things get better soon. Take care and keep posting.
Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
Thanks for listening. I have talked to a therapist but haven't discussed depression with her. We talked years ago about my husband's issues and at the time we just thought he was lazy or in a mood, not really depression. One thing my therapist said was that I'd end up supporting him for the rest of my life, so far she is somewhat correct. I think I will make an appointment with my own doctor and talk to her about it...perhaps because our doctors are in the same building they can get together....who knows.
Great idea Depressiogonemad... I think you are on the right track...
I hope that things get better soon. You are carrying a heavy load, but things will get better.
Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
I hope that things get better soon. You are carrying a heavy load, but things will get better.
Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies