. I am a single parent with 5 kids 3 of whom have autism, and everyday is a battle for me. I just feel like I'm existing and now living. Infact I think if my body could go on ahead and leave me behind it would work out better for everyone.
Hi I'm new to this, have been diagnosed with fibromayaglia 5 years ago, and more recently with depression. This is all very new to me, as I dont think I have ever been depressed before, but then again I could have been depressed all my life and wouldnt know . I am a single parent with 5 kids 3 of whom have autism, and everyday is a battle for me. I just feel like I'm existing and now living. Infact I think if my body could go on ahead and leave me behind it would work out better for everyone.
. I am a single parent with 5 kids 3 of whom have autism, and everyday is a battle for me. I just feel like I'm existing and now living. Infact I think if my body could go on ahead and leave me behind it would work out better for everyone. I have forgetfullness, severe headaches, serious amount of pain all day, tearfull, yelling at kids, and then standing back thinking was that me just said that! very bad sleeping routine, i.e want to sleep in the mornings, but dont want to go to bed at night!! Panic attacks, sweating, driving round in circles wondering what I'm doing ( kids also wondering what I'm doing) Is this all normal?
Tea sympthy and advice welcome
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Jayney,
Welcome to the board. What help are you getting for your depression? I have a chronic illness, have had since I was 12, and did not realize I was depressed until recently. I am not able to face the challenges of life, living with a chronic illness, and the anger built inside me without getting professional help. It does include medication. Do not feel alone in this but do know that there is a way out. Good luck and hope you find the answers you are looking for.
Welcome to the board. What help are you getting for your depression? I have a chronic illness, have had since I was 12, and did not realize I was depressed until recently. I am not able to face the challenges of life, living with a chronic illness, and the anger built inside me without getting professional help. It does include medication. Do not feel alone in this but do know that there is a way out. Good luck and hope you find the answers you are looking for.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
Randy
Hi Jayney,
Love your tag under your name.. ! haha.. Well, at least you haven't lost your sense of humor.. 
Couldn't help but think of myself, as I read your post. Yep. With the exception of just a couple of things, you are my mirror image.
You said..
"I have forgetfullness, severe headaches, serious amount of pain all day, tearfull, have been diagnosed with fibromayaglia 5 years ago.. very bad sleeping routine, i.e want to sleep in the mornings, but dont want to go to bed at night!!"
I have learned thru experience that some of this is its own, self-supporting, vicious circle.
I've learned that when my UC flares and the stress from that increases, my Fibro will be right behind it.
First... some of this can be caused by dehydration. It has symptoms that we would Never think of.. so, Be Sure you are drinking eight, eight ounce glasses each day.
Second, the sleep pattern being off and lack of sleep will add to all of this and renew the symtoms each day. Get to the Dr and get something like Elavil (Generic Amitryptaline) for sleep at night. It will take about two weeks to get the full affect but, it is SO worth it.
Also while there, tell him about your level of pain. Pain--constant and unbroken--is a catalyst to depression, fatigue and irritablility. Get some help for your pain. Physical Therapy is most important to those of us with Fibro.
Are you getting counseling? It is Very Important. If not, get an appointment with a therapist, aquainted with your type of situation. They will be someone to unload on and, give you feed back and tools as to how to deal with each day and your emotions.
And, do not forget that Care-Givers need More care than the patient. You need enough energy, hope, love, time etc., not just for yourself but, in double duty fashion for the patients also; therefore, be sure to put yourself first.
I know that sounds crazy but, (been there, done that) I learned thru experience that you can't help others if you're not up to it. So, in order to help everyone else, get yourself in Prime shape then, everything else will fall into place.
Ask a family member/close friend, to give you some help one day a week or whatever they can, so you can have a day to rest, focus on yourself, shop, read, go to lunch, a movie, whatever. It will improve your outlook to have time to yourself. And, it's not selfish, it's good sense. Call it maintainance.
Also, with the children who are able to understand, sit and talk with them and tell them what you feel about them and that you are going to try to change things; that you are getting help.
Jayney, when I took the First Aid course on CPR, they told us, "you can't help the victim if you're past the point of having energy. You only will endanger yourself then, become useless to the victim. Take care of yourself first or, when the Fire Department gets there, they will have TWO victims."
The point is, You First then, it will be So Much easier.
Let us know how you are doing and, remember, this will get better..
RainDance
Don't forget.. Drink your water.. :)
Post Edited (RainDance) : 3/30/2005 10:17:45 AM (GMT-7)
Hi Janey
I'm new today, but your post touched me. The symptoms you describe mirror my own, but you seem to have so many more reasons to have them than I do. My depression was triggered by a bereavement 18 months ago that I can't seem to get over - only finally diagnosed following breakdown in Jan.
Help is out there - I wish I had known about this site before, perhaps I wouldn't have got as desperate as I did. The advice given is sound. Get help soon - we're not superhuman and i'm learning that it is OK to be less than perfect.
Good luck and big hugs
stumpytroll
Thats great advice you have given me, (now I just have to remember it)! I am on amitripline 50mg, citroplam 20mg, ibrophen 3 times daily, co-dydramol every 4 hours, temazapan 1 or 2 a week, the doc wont let me take them daily. and a concocgation of drugs for nose allergies!!! I attend a cpn for the depression but she is of no help, and I know where my problems stem from but she doesnt seem to want to go back that far in life.
A short run down on it:-
Arranged marriage because of pregnancy at 20, first child born healthy and well, second child came along 18 months later, congenital heart disease, was left on my won at the hospital to watch my son die, terrible time. and he didnt die in the hospital, he waited until he was allowed home at 6 months old and died in his cot a week later. Hubby turned into a mad man, abuse, violence, mental torture, throwing knives at me, threatening to kill, and so on.... along come 3 child due to be abused from hubby, fine well and healthy, and I had to flea from my house as hubby went of the rockers and just missed me with the bread knife.
So meet the next hubby a few years later he was an old friend from hume, whom I knew well, as far as I could see all was going we had 2 girls and then I had a miscarraige, he left me at the hospital, and went camping with his mother! but got back on track, and I fell pregnant again, only to come home one evening from being out with the kids to find he had fled to house and took all with him. He left me 7 months pregnant with nothing but a christmas tree (he left the lights on it too, kind man!!!) so as you can see I think i would have a lot to talk about to the councellor, but she doesnt seem to want to know, what sould I do?
Sorry folks but this is very long!!!!
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Hi Jayney
Well, I believe most counselors would have no problem discussing "old," issues with you, as people are an accumlation of their lives.
Personally, I would change counselors. We pay them and they are our employees but, we forget that most of the time.
Good luck.. !
RainDance
Don't forget.. Drink your water.. :)
I agree with RainDance. I have been through several counselors until I found one I could trust and who would let me direct the course of healing. As I discuss the accumulation of events in life, she gives me insight on how to keep things in perspective and release them rather than letting them continue to accumulate. Let us know how things are going.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
Randy
How do I go about changing the councellor? Im in n.ireland and I had to be referred by a g.p. to the councellor. I just feel that she wants me out in 10 minutes, but with me being a deep person it takes me nearly an hour just to open up and start talking.
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
I would go back to my gp and let them konw that things are not working out and you would like another referral. Tell the gp that you just have not been able to develop a relationship with the current one that allows you to be completely open with them. Good luck.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.
Randy
Jayney,I am so glad you joined the group and welcome. I know I say this over and over to newbee's, but this site is my solace and comfort. We are not judged, criticized or ostricized. The posts you received prior to mine come from my "support family" as I call them. I second and third what they replied.
WOW....sounds like you got your hands full with 5 children and 3 autistic. I have a grandson who is autistic, ADD, ADHD and developementally delayed. It's very hard. Now what reason would you have to be depressed?? 
( I'm course kidding of course) On a more serious note, everyone here has the same illness BUT none of us have the same results. In other words, I am depressed because I am ill and feel like a failure but you are depressed because of your present position. See...both depressed for two different reasons. If you don't want to answer this, OK. Pardon me for being nosey, but where does the father of your children fit into their lives? You are so stressed with 5 kids and you work too? SHOOT.....there is no way I could handle so I give you two thumbs up for your endeavor. You are very brave. You know what you have to do for your children and you do it. As a person with Lupus, I know exactly what fibromyalgia is and how it effects your body. Yes, another word for "chronic fatigue syndrome". What meds are you currently taking? All you say is indicative of depression. Insomnia is a terrible thing. I have sleep. depravation and stop breathing in the middle of the night. I wake up choaking. It can happen up to 400 times a night. Needless to say, I don't get the right amount of sleep and then living with this disease is pretty annoying. I am not, however complaining as so many people are so worse off than I am.
( I'm course kidding of course) On a more serious note, everyone here has the same illness BUT none of us have the same results. In other words, I am depressed because I am ill and feel like a failure but you are depressed because of your present position. See...both depressed for two different reasons. If you don't want to answer this, OK. Pardon me for being nosey, but where does the father of your children fit into their lives? You are so stressed with 5 kids and you work too? SHOOT.....there is no way I could handle so I give you two thumbs up for your endeavor. You are very brave. You know what you have to do for your children and you do it. As a person with Lupus, I know exactly what fibromyalgia is and how it effects your body. Yes, another word for "chronic fatigue syndrome". What meds are you currently taking? All you say is indicative of depression. Insomnia is a terrible thing. I have sleep. depravation and stop breathing in the middle of the night. I wake up choaking. It can happen up to 400 times a night. Needless to say, I don't get the right amount of sleep and then living with this disease is pretty annoying. I am not, however complaining as so many people are so worse off than I am. You ask is "this all normal". Like I said in the beginning of this post, we all have different symptoms. I think the biggest thing on my top ten list is dealing with the fact that my family lives very far from me and then not seeing my grandchildren grow up. My husband has a very good job here and I have the finest medical care. The rest is that I am limited as to what I can do. I had been a very active normal, (my husband would say otherwise) LOL and I had a lust for life. I had my own business and wouked very hard. When this illness came around, it took 5 years to get me down to the way I am now. Even after that I have acquired other issues. So, as for normal. Who knows what's normal with us. I never know what each day will bring for me or if I will even wake up in the AM, but thank God He gives me the strength to cope and I make the best of every day. I live it like it was my last.
Kep posting and keep reading. The readong posts is the most beneficial. This way you can see what the other's are dealing with and then the reply they got. Glad you are here and feel at home here
"Lefty"
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.
Jayney,Hearing your story makes me think one thing, and the only reason I dare say this is because I share some of the same things.You HAVE to find a therapist that you can release your past to.If the one you have doesn't want to listen, do whatever it takes to find the right one for you.As someone replied, life is an accumulation of our experiences.And those traumatic ones won't just go away!I don't believe it has to be long, drawn out therapy...just the right connection to one that will get to the bottom of your situation.I am an avid reader of self help books, and our problems go all the way back to childhood relationships.I wanted to know why I accepted being dominated, belittled, etc.So find your right therapist..take a deep breath.........take care.
Thanks everyone for taking the time to read my post. My first answer is the hubby takes the kids on a Saturday and Sunday, for a few hours, it is a help but I would love a full nights sleep! Secondly as for my drugs the list is in my post, I am on nothing else, the doctor here is reluntent to give out antidepressents, and because I am soooo laid back(I would nearly fall over myself) he tells me that these feelings will pass. I am really worried because I dont seem to be seeing the light at the end of the tunnell, and I dont know if this is drepression or just selfishness on my behalf. But it has really come to the point that the kids are constantly getting yelled at, the 2 year old who is non-verbal, and extremely bad tempered, was very close to getting my hand across her tailend today, and all I want to do is hide in a corner. I do think the amount of pain that I have to suffer everyday is also a hindrance because the drugs that work for me also make me sleepy, so I have to be carefull when I take them, as I spend alot of my day driving roudn in circles wondering why I got into the bloody car in the first place.
Sorry I have went on abit.
Jane
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Hello Jayney,
I was reading this string and just wondered how things have been going for you? I know it is a great bunch at the fibro forum as well. I just wanted to say that RainDance, CheerDad and Lefty gave you some great advice . . . let us know how you have been doing.
BTW . . . if you go to the Lupus Forum and post a topic looking for a gall named Stacie (she goes by JK), she also has an autistic child (I know you have 3 - you are to be commended for dealing with such a large family as a single mom!) . . . Stacie loves to share about her little girl too. . . I'm sure she'd love to meet you.
Oh . . . and some hot tea for you dear.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
I was reading this string and just wondered how things have been going for you? I know it is a great bunch at the fibro forum as well. I just wanted to say that RainDance, CheerDad and Lefty gave you some great advice . . . let us know how you have been doing.
BTW . . . if you go to the Lupus Forum and post a topic looking for a gall named Stacie (she goes by JK), she also has an autistic child (I know you have 3 - you are to be commended for dealing with such a large family as a single mom!) . . . Stacie loves to share about her little girl too. . . I'm sure she'd love to meet you.
Oh . . . and some hot tea for you dear.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
Thanks rosie, I love that name, my yongest child is called Rosie, I will post now looking for JK. I am still feeling the same not knowing whethere I am coming or going, and now i'm starting to feel quite sick, vomiting sick, I think it ahs a lot to do with the pain of fms. Going to doc next monday will let you know what happens
Jane
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Jane
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Jane . . . glad you posted with an update. Do you see a Rheumatologist with your fibro??? Do you have a list of things you need addressed at the docror's appointment? It might be helpful. One thing I would address is the insomnia . . we heal in our deep sleep and you can't heal if your not sleeping right. I am feeling much better since getting some good sleep. I never thought I would consider sleep aids but I became such an insomniac that it had to be addressed (Iuse amitriptyline). . . what a difference some good sleep and proper pain meds has made. Keep us posted about your progress.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
I think sleep is my main problem, I dont get much of it, maybe 3-4 hours a night. I have been on amitripline for the past 5 years and it worked great at the start but the pains in my legs are so bad now the drugs dont seem to be working, and I can feel myself getting more and more depressed by the minute. Going to doc on Monday hopefully there will be light at the end of the tunnell.
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Oh Janey . . . so glad you posted!! Monday eh?? Great! I see you met Sheryl from the Lupus forum (sorry, I see I said wrong name above) . . . she is such a sweet gal. She loves to share too.
Do you have restless leg syndrome??? or is your leg pain from Fibro??? Yikes . . . I just came thru a lupus-flare which included psiatic pain down my leg . . . it really does mess up your sleep.
I wonder too if you have posted your leg pain in the fibro forum . . . maybe some tips from there would give you something to try.
You really do need to address that sleep problem with your doc. I have to write everything down so I don't get brain fog at the appointment. If I don't write it down, I forget or lose my tongue.
I sure hope your doc can figure things out for you. Do you see a rheumatoligist???
Keep us posted.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
Do you have restless leg syndrome??? or is your leg pain from Fibro??? Yikes . . . I just came thru a lupus-flare which included psiatic pain down my leg . . . it really does mess up your sleep.
I wonder too if you have posted your leg pain in the fibro forum . . . maybe some tips from there would give you something to try.
You really do need to address that sleep problem with your doc. I have to write everything down so I don't get brain fog at the appointment. If I don't write it down, I forget or lose my tongue.
I sure hope your doc can figure things out for you. Do you see a rheumatoligist???
Keep us posted.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
Hi I have the restless leg syndrome plus my hips and knees are going down hill, but my legs keep jumping in the night and it is so bloody painfull. I havent posted in the fibro site about the legs as I havent had time to scratch myself never mind worry about pains, but I will thanks for the info and support. At the moment I would just like to find a soft bed and stay in it for at least a week 
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Keep smiling it makes everyone wonder what you have been up to!!!!
Oh Janey . . . I can't imagine how much you need a BIG long rest. I am a mother of four 'healthy' children . . . all grown now . . . and I used to dream of the day when I could just get my legs up when needed. The day is here and I sooooo appreciate it. I am sure praying for some good sleep for you friend!! I hope the fibro folks can help.
When you get a chance, keep us posted.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
When you get a chance, keep us posted.
Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Psalms: 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),
Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance
I have no medical training.
The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you. You are now my friend. Thanks for being here.
Janey,
Welcome to the group. I am fairly new but this place seems to be a great support. It is very true that finding a therapist that you can connect with is so important. My therapist has truly been my saving grace in so many ways. My family and even some of my friends don't get the depression thing. They are not supportive at all. They see it more as a "flaw" or a "weakness" to have a place where someone takes care of you even if it is 45 minutes can be very helpful.
Medicine also might be helpful but it might take some time to get the right combination. It can be frusturating at times but when it works it can be a great relief.
Do you have other support such as family friends etc?
Hang in there.